Posts Tagged WND

I can’t imagine a cuter couple

Here I am, putzing around in teh intertubes, looking for something to motivate me to blog. I should have known where to go first. They’ve never let me down before and it looks like they’re going to be just as much a source of lulz in 2010 as in previous years. Yes, I’m talking about the WorldNutDaily (or the WorldNetDaily as they like to call themselves. They’re the only ones who do). So what kind of republitard/religiotard insanity are they up to now? Let’s take a peek into the mind of madness, shall we?

WND Exclusive

You see that there? Where it says “WorldNetDaily Exclusive”? That’s a code phrase that means “We’re the only ones batshit crazy enough to publish this astounding crap”. Just an FYI.

Anyway, here’s the headline:

Palin-Farah ticket at 1st national tea-party convention

Americans unite to take country back from ‘grips of tyrannical government’

Sarah "Dontcha know" Palin

Joseph "Where's the birth certificate?!" Farah

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Can it be? Two of the craziest looney-toons on the scene in the same place? My mind reels at the thought of the staggering amount of stupid that will be excreted by the two of them. *sigh* So what will Beauty and Caribou Barbie be doing?

WND founder Joseph Farah will join former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin as speaker at the first national tea-party convention – and he plans to get Americans energized and excited about reclaiming the nation this year from the clutches of “tyrannical central government.”

At first I was really excited. Can you imagine the fun we would have in 2012 if those two yahoos ran for president? Alas, it was merely a forum for idiots to speak to morons. Or is that the other way around? Anyway, other attendees to this historic event include Rep Michele Bachmann, R- Minn. and Rep. Marsha Blackburn, R-Tenn. Yes, you read that right Michele “Seditionist” Bachmann will be adding her brand of crazy to the mix.

If only Joe the Plumber were going to be there, the whole tea-bagger movement might just be so inspired it would spontaneously combust. One can have dreams, anyway.

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Slicing and Dicing: Responding to a Reader’s Comment

This started out as a reply to a recent comment on an older post of mine, but the commenting system told me it was too long, so I figured I’d address it out here.

In the original post, I was mocking an article the WorldNutDaily had published where they tried to prove “scientifically” that the jews were ruining the world. From the original article:

University of Wisconsin geologists analyzed the chemical composition of individual rings that formed the stalagmite growing up from the floor of the Soreq Cave near Jerusalem between 200 B.C. and 1100 A.D. Geologists John Valley and Ian Orland concluded the climate was drier in the eastern Mediterranean between 100 A.D. and 700 A.D., with steep drops in rainfall around 100 A.D. and 400 A.D. – a period of waning Roman and Byzantine power in the region.

WND used these studies as confirmation of a jewish rabbi’s claims that this was the fulfillment of a biblical prophecy.

Now, to address Mike’s comments…

You sure get excited/angry about this stuff. Here’s a couple thoughts.

Thanks for noticing!

You’re mocking and saying how stupid the report is, yet you aren’t refuting any of the scientific studies involved. Your argument basically sums up to, “That’s true, but they’re stupid.”

My intention was not to refute any of the scientific studies involved. I have not read them and have no beef with trying to figure out, scientifically, what the changes in the climate have been in a particular region of the world. What I’m mocking is the completely unsubstantiated claim that the rainfall patterns in the middle east have anything to do with the supposed “prophecy” of a book written by a bronze-age group of men.

If you’re going to argue or debate against something, at least have evidences available to debunk the evidence coming from the other side.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. It’s not my job to un-prove something, it’s the job of the person making the claim that there is something supernatural going on. And, no, I don’t accept “the bible said so” as extraordinary evidence. Try again.

You’re mocking the fact that some people are pointing out that the land of Israel/Palestine dried up right around the same time that the Jews were dispersed and almost entirely destroyed by the Roman Empire. You’re mocking the idea that there is any sort of link. There is no giant sign saying, “God removed the rain when the Jews left.” But these are two events that took place at the same time, the drought lasting many centuries. So when you’re attacking the report, I find myself a little confused. Are you saying that the science that says the rain stopped at that point in time is false? Are you also saying that the Jews were not dispersed or nearly wiped out by the Roman Empire around the same time? See, you’re ridiculing the idea that there is a link, yet the facts remain. Whether or not there is any link at all, nothing changes the fact that these two events occurred at about the same time.

correlation != causation (“!=” means “does not equal”, for all you non-computery folks)

Let’s try this one: at the same time I picked my nose, a cat died. The facts remain, these two events happened at the same time. Therefore my nose-picking caused the death of a cat. They must be related. See what I did there? I could write for the WorldNutDaily!

No doubt there is a perfectly scientific and natural explanation for the rain drying up when it did, but that simple fact doesn’t change the fact that God could have arranged it that way on purpose through subtle or not so subtle nudges. [emphasis mine]

Shyeah, and monkeys could fly out of my butt! (to paraphrase one of the great philosophers). Just because something could happen doesn’t mean that it did happen. You have to provide evidence that what happened wasn’t the result of observable, testable, repeatable natural phenomena, otherwise my claim about monkeys is just as likely as your claim about the intervention of a god. See Russell’s teapot.

Another example is a person trying to stay warm. He might add wood to a small fire and bundle up in warm clothing in order to warm up. He gets warmer, that’s the result, but it didn’t just happen by itself. He made it happen through the use of natural processes (he put on warm clothes and added wood to the small fire).

I’m not sure what this has to do with anything. Are you saying that god makes us want to get warm? I don’t get it.

I’m not defending the beliefs put forward in the article, however to undermine something from the standpoint of, “It’s not possible because I don’t want to believe it” sets yourself up for a serious knock down.

If I did try to “undermine something from the standpoint of, “It’s not possible because I don’t want to believe it” “, I would, indeed, be set up for a serious knock down. However, I did nothing of the sort. Reading comprehension much?

Coming from the core of, “God doesn’t exist,” is fine, but you’ve gotta backup an argument with a lot more than something as intangible as the existence of God (true or not).

Um, yeah, that was kinda my whole point. The entire WND article was conclusions based on nothing more than “something as intangible as the existence of God “. I was just pointing out how ridiculous such “logic” is. I like to share the lulz!

In the end, the rain stopped, the Jews left at that time, and it’s an interesting coincidence if nothing more.

And it will appropriately be regarded as nothing more than an (un)interesting coincidence until more substantial evidence than, “IT’S IN THE BIBLE!!!11!!” is provided.

Attacking a belief with a different belief is like two ghosts trying to have a boxing match, each punch completely incapable of connecting or causing any harm to the other.

Nice strawman, but I never attacked “belief with a different belief”.

Thanks for playing! Come again!

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A movie review guaranteed to get me to the theater

Thanks to the WorldNutDaily, I’m definitely going to see this movie. The brilliant-as-usual Bob Unruh gives us a peek into the latest Sasha Baron Cohen film “Bruno”. Or rather gives us a peek into the mind of  Movieguide, the Christian Film & Television Commission ministry’s family guide to movies and entertainment and its founder Ted Baehr. The movie was so bad, Baehr told WND, “that it cannot accurately be described in print.” But they were gonna give it the old college try in a letter they’re sending to city managers and local district attorneys.

Our organization has just viewed the upcoming ‘R-rated’ movie ‘Brüno,’ which is scheduled to come out in local movie theaters Friday, July 10.

Based on our screening of it, and the opinion of many other critics, BRÜNO is the most vile, perverse movie ever made by a mainstream movie studio. This disgusting, abhorrent movie contains (among other things) extremely graphic scenes of heterosexual and homosexual sex acts, explicit scenes and extended close-ups of full male and full female nudity, an extended scene of a totally nude heterosexual woman repeatedly whipping a homosexual man in his bikini briefs, partial nude scenes (including full rear male nudity) where body parts are partially covered up with black bars placed in strategic places, obscenely graphic verbal descriptions of perverse sex acts in dialogue and conversations with real people, and images of a male black baby from Africa in a hot tub with white adults who are clearly interested in doing some kind of sex acts with one another.

Vile, perverse, disgusting, abhorrent? Boobies and dicks? Sounds like a damn fine film to me. Right up there with “Casablanca” and “Gone With The Wind” and “Debbie Does Dallas”.

Pssst… hey, fundies. I gotta tip for ya’: Don’t like what’s in a movie? Don’t go to see it!

Those poor souls at Movieguide, being forced to watch such filth! The sacrifices they make in the noble name of protecting the community. I wonder how many erections they had to conceal during their private screening? Down boy! This is filth! Vile, vile, filth! Hot, steamy, luscious filth! Hey, dude next to me, why are you rubbing my crotch?

But, of course, they’re not doing this for themselves.

He tells those managers and district attornys[sic], “Studies have shown conclusively that movies like this will harm the psychological development of children and teenagers of all ages. Other studies have shown that almost half of all movie theaters do not card underage children who try to get tickets to such vile R-rated movies as BRÜNO by themselves, unaccompanied by adults.

“The physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well being of your children and grandchildren is at stake!!!”

OH NOES, WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDRENS!!!!@1!!!!1!

Guess what? I wouldn’t let my kid go see this movie. But I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let some pack of frothing at the mouth, sexually repressed fundies try to tell me that I can’t see it.

WND is not providing a link to the movie’s website because of the explicit content.

Hell, I’ll provide a link because of the explicit content. Click away, my pretties!

Bruno

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Murder for Darwin!

Thank you, WorldNutDaily, for clearing up our misconceptions about James von Brunn, the psycho who thought it would be fun to shoot up a Holocaust museum. See, in a WND “Exclusive” (which means that only they are fucked up enough to take credit for printing this kind of garbage) Bob Unruh reveals the real motivation behind von Brunn’s rampage: Darwin made him do it! Seriously, they reveal all in their headline: Darwin-loving museum shooter hates Bible, Christians

James von Brunn, the man who allegedly shot and killed a guard at the Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C., was a Darwin-lover who hated the Bible and Christians, and defies media efforts to classify him as a stereotypical “right-winger,” according to report.

As the kids say, that’s a bold statement (The kids do say that, right?). This report must have some concrete evidence to back up a claim like that. Where did that report come from?

The Moonbattery blog revealed von Brunn advocated the socialist policies espoused by Adolf Hitler and used Darwinian theory to support his anti-Semitism.

Holy shit. A paranoid, conspiracy theorizing, hate and fear mongering site using another paranoid, conspiracy theorizing, hate and fear mongering site to back up their paranoid conspiracy theories.

Dammit, my irony meter just asploded.

Darwin and Hitler used to hang out; smoking pot and planning the destruction of the lesser races

Darwin and Hitler used to hang out; smoking pot and planning the destruction of the lesser races

The best part is that they can call him a “Darwin-lover” is because he dug Hitler and, as we all know, Hitler was Darwin’s best-man at his wedding. They used to go down to the local bruehaus and knock back shots together, before crafting plans to further the dominance of the Aryan race through eugenics.

I’m torn between wanting to laugh my ass of at the incredible lack of any sort of reasonable thought process in these people, and wanting to weep with the futility of trying to maintain sanity while fricking idiots like these are doing their damnedest to twist the world into the sick fantasy that exists in their own heads.

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Even a broken clock is correct twice a day

What is this world coming to? I actually agree with something written in the WorldNutDaily. According to an article over there by Bob Unruh, a professor at Los Angeles City College allegedly called a student a “fascist b——“. I’m assuming the redacted word is “bastard”. The student is now suing the school, represented by the Allliance Defense Fund. Apparently the student, Jonathan Lopez, was giving a speech in Professor John Matteson’s speech class. The assignment was to give a six to eight minute speech on “any topic”.

During the November, 24, 2008 class, Mr. Lopez delivered an informative speech on God and the ways in which Mr. Lopez has seen God act both in his life and in the lives of others through miracles. In the middle of the speech, he addressed the issues of God and morality; thus, he referred to the dictionary definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman and also read a passage from the Bible discussing marriage,” the ADF explained.

At that point, the professor interrupted him and refused to allow him to finish his speech, ADF said. Matteson then called Lopez a ‘fascist b——” and dismissed the class.

Later, the professor left an evaluation form on Lopez’s backpack without a grade, instructing him to “Ask God what your grade is.”


Professor’s grading of student’s speech

The professor also warned on the evaluation form, “proselytizing is inappropriate in public school.”

If the details of this case are correct, this professor is completely out of line and needs to be disciplined. Treating a student with that kind of disrespect, regardless of differences between your beliefs, is unacceptable. I don’t know the specifics about what topics were permitted under the syllabus or if the professor indicated that certain controversial topics were off-limits in class, but even if the student had violated those rules, the professor’s response would still have been inappropriate.

The classroom is not the place for teachers to promote their personal beliefs nor to abuse students for the beliefs they hold. My initial reaction is that the teacher needs to have his sorry butt thrown out. Allegedly, this isn’t the first time the teacher has gone off on a personal tangent in class. In a statement from the lawer for the ADF:

Yet several weeks earlier, Matteson has announced to the class, in connection to the California vote Nov. 4 in support of a constitutional amendment defining marriage as being between one man and one woman only, that, “if you voted yes on Proposition 8, you are a fascist b——.”

However much I personally agree with Matteson, the classroom is not the place for that kind of shit. This teacher needs to be raked over the coals just as much as one who promotes christianity in the class. Why the hell can’t teachers just teach and leave the moral pontification out?

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The brilliance of the WorldNutDaily is truly astounding

OMFSM! The WorldNutDaily has outdone themselves. They have reached new heights (or depths, depending on your perspective) of mind-numbing stupidity. In an effort to save their readers from enduring the intellectual trauma of actually trying to form a coherent and reasonable thought, they are now offering for sale the complete collection of “Politically Incorrect Guides”. This collection contains such shining gems as “The Politically Incorrect Guide to the South (and Why It Will Rise Again)” and “The Politically Incorrect Guide to Darwinism and Intelligent Design”.

Not content with just spewing garbage in the form of mindless articles written by the likes of such flaming brilliances as Chuck Norris, they are now providing you with the opportunity to “browse through all the politically incorrect guides in one place online and satisfy your intellectual curiosity quickly and efficiently.”

Don’t miss out on this fabulous opportunity! There’s a “Politically Incorrect Guide” out there no matter what your particular prejudice or paranoia may be. Peruse the selections and check out books illuminating the truth behind such controversial subjects as:

  • Women, sex and feminism
  • Science
  • Hunting
  • Capitalism
  • Islam and the Crusades
  • American history
  • The Bible
  • Western Civilization

“The politically incorrect guides were a very smart idea and executed brilliantly,” said Joseph Farah, founder and editor of WND. “I wish it had been my idea. Now we’re making it easier than ever to take advantage of all the wisdom and insight found in these books.” [emphasis mine]

Let that sink in for just a moment. Then join with me in a rousing chorus of “WHAT THE FUCK?!?”

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