Posts Tagged Jesus loves you but not today

Fuck you, Google, and the app you rode in on

Edit: So I now have a new “personal” account and things are relatively back to the status quo. But my arguments still remain: the whole thing is totally fucked up. And it’s made worse by their policies on “real names”, so I can’t just set up an account as CyberLizard independent of my identity as my meatspace self. This fucking pisses me off. Expect another rant about that soon.

Hold on to your seats, folks; it’s going to be a ranty ride.

So here’s the deal. I own my own domain, I got tired of dealing with email management and decided to just let GMail deal with it all. No problemo. Now I’ve got to do my emailification. At the same time, I also set up things like and, aka Google Apps. I had already had my iGoogle and Google Reader set up to use my email address as the login. So, pretty cool.

Actually, not so much. Because my iGoogle and Google Reader apparently use something called a Google Account or Google Profile. Which apparently is different from the shit I just set up in Google Apps. Even though it’s got the same login. Ok, fine. So I just go directly to my * urls for some stuff and directly to Google for others. And this works.

Until Google Plus. Google apparently thinks that Google Apps users are second class citizens who don’t deserve these special things called Google Profiles. Which means no Google Plus. But since the same email address is being used for both my “personal” google account and my Google Apps account, I can get in on the “personal” one.

You confused yet? I sure as hell am! Irregardless, all this shit works. I’m on G+, I can see all my RSS feeds on Reader, I can do my emailizations and I make extensive use of my Calendar.

Until today. Google decided to “transition” my “conflicting” accounts. So now I’m totally fucked. If I go to my email and log in, I am apparently logged in to the entire google infrastructure with my apps account. So if I go to Plus, it says, “Fuck you! You can’t get in without a Profile! And Apps accounts don’t get a Profile! So you’re fucked!” Or something like that. I may have paraphrased a bit. The point is, this fucking sucks. And Google’s only solution is to rename my “personal” account?! What about all the stuff I’ve done on G+ already? I don’t want to change my fucking email address! Why is this shit so difficult? I’m not a stupid guy. I work with computers all day long. I run web sites. I program the world’s most powerful computers. But this shit drives me batty!

I want:

  • All my existing * shit to work; mail, calendar, docs
  • All my configuration and content of iGoogle, Reader, G+ to work

How do I get the content from both of these onto one account? Without creating a whole fucking new email address? Make it fucking happen, Google!

p.s. I’m not usually one to rant about this kind of technology struggle. I’m usually the one telling people how to set this shit up. I’m really not some dumb, ignorant user (well, maybe in this case I am). There’s probably a perfectly logical reason why they set things up this way. But I’ll be damned if I can see it. Or untangle the result.

p.p.s Yes, this is whiny and pouty. I just want my internets to work! *wail*

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I want to kick Jesus in the nuts!

I am royally pissed off right now. I mean seriously pissed. Back in 2008 I came out as an atheist. I fully expected some friends or family to have a hissy-fit, but the idea that there would be workplace ramifications never entered my mind. In my place of employment, that kind of crap is kept outside. All that matters is what kind of code I write and how I manage my team. Apparently that’s not the case for everyone.

My very good friend, who I shall call “Fucked by Jesus” or FBJ for short, was recently outed at work as being an atheist. Her place of employment is rather saturated with love of the lord, but it’s a huge organization with lots of public scrutiny, so while I expected to hear about some discomfort from the petty whisperings of narrow-minded theistic co-workers, I didn’t expect to hear about a full-blown attack being perpetrated against FBJ by the organization itself. Her internet access has been cut off, TweetDeck and iTunes uninstalled from her PC, her shit rifled through and they moved her to a new cubicle. No idea if that was to bring her closer to Jesus or what.

In the interest of fairness, if there is a policy against having applications like TweetDeck or iTunes installed, then they are legally within their rights to remove them. But I’ll bet you the price of a new bible that there are other, god-loving employees there with those applications installed who haven’t been touched.

This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I suspect that it is even illegal. She is being subjected to an extremely hostile work environment due solely to her religions preferences (or lack thereof). I think the ACLU needs to get involved. This kind of shit shouldn’t be happening in the 21st century. I thought the Inquisitions became passe after the Dark Ages. WTF?

Hang tough, girl! You’ve got the entire atheist community behind you on this one. No one fucks with the CyberLizard’s friends. I’ve got a whole pack of chupacabras just waiting to be unleashed on their asses. Just say the word.

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Reading comprehension problem amongst the fundies

Where Church and State really intersect

Where Church and State really intersect

I couldn’t decide whether to LMAO or throw up. The EPIC FAIL that is fundies never ceases to amaze me. I stumbled upon one of their Facebook groups.

Put Christ Back Into Schools*

Allow freedom of teaching of the Bible by all teachers in all schools across America.

  1. Allow Teaching of and only the Bible by teachers at any time to students anytime.
  2. Allowing the Bible (and only the Bible) to be an elective in all schools, and not forced upon.
Education – Elementary and Secondary
*We believe every teacher should have the right to teach the Bible at any time. Please note: To clearify, this group is for teaching of the entire Bible, and only the Bible. According 1st Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, every person has the right to religion. Why is praying/reading of the Bible not allowed in most schools?

Let’s go ahead and take a look at the actual text of the 1st Amendment, shall we?

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

The first sentence is what the ignorant fundies are talking about: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;…” This is widely regarded as designed to prevent the establishment of a state religion by the government. It is also interpreted by the Supreme Court to mean that the government cannot promote one religion over another (Board of Education of Kiryas Joel Village School District v. Grumet, 512 U.S. 687 (1994), Justice David Souter, writing for the majority, concluded that “government should not prefer one religion to another, or religion to irreligion”.)

What this group advocating the return of “Christ” to the classroom is seeking is inherently unconstitutional. They make this clear in their position statements: “Allow Teaching of and only the Bible by teachers at any time to students anytime.” Right there, see that? They want the government to promote their bible over any other religious text. And just in case we missed it, they’ve got an asterisk note:

We believe every teacher should have the right to teach the Bible at any time. Please note: To clearify[sic], this group is for teaching of the entire Bible, and only the Bible.

C’mon, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that this is clearly discriminatory and blatantly unconstitutional. Why should your mythology get preferential treatment over any other?

According [sic] 1st Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, every person has the right to religion. Why is praying/reading of the Bible not allowed in most schools?

Why is this so fracking hard to understand: every student has the absolute right to pray/read the bible in school. No one has argued that they don’t have that right or shouldn’t have that right. What we’re trying to avoid is having the schools (aka the government) impose your mythology in our institutes of education.

Let me put it in a way that even fundies can understand. Let’s say your kid came home and told you that their teacher was telling them that Odin created the world and that if they died in battle they would get to go to Valhalla. I can safely say that you would be mildly concerned. It’s the same thing for the rest of us when our kids come home saying that teacher said that their going to hell unless they worship some dude named Jesus. School is about edumacation, not indoctrination. Students should be learning about the factual realities of the world, devoid of any religious trappings.


I know I’m just preaching to the choir here (no pun intended). Any fundie who reads this isn’t going to get it. “That’s completely different,” they’ll say. “The bible is real, not like that other crap about multiple gods or (god forbid) no god at all!”

All we can do is to try to keep our voices heard and promote the strict enforcement of the separation of church and state. This isn’t just an atheist issue. It affects all of us who support a secular government and an educational system based on fact, not mythology.

Here are some resources:

Americans United for Separation of Church and State

ACLU – American Civil Liberties Union

NCSE – National Center for Science Education

Me, I liek mudkips

Me, I liek mudkips

Jesus lieks the little children

Jesus lieks teh little children

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A New (Cooler) Holiday

A recent tweet from a really cool guy caught my eye (and brain).

Why do we have an official holiday for the death and reanimation of a fictional character? I say we start one for Gandalf.

Seriously, the basic concept is the same. Let’s compare:

  • Fictional character Jesus dies as a sacrifice (in our place), battles a fiery baddie (Satan) and is brought back to life by higher powers (God) to kick ass once again.
  • Fictional character Gandalf dies as a sacrifice (in the Fellowship of the Ring’s place), battles a fiery baddie (the balrog) and is brought back to life by higher powers (the Valar) to kick ass once again.

Personally, my vote is for Gandalf. There are two very important reasons:

  1. People don’t use Gandalf as an excuse for their hatred and bigotry against others, and
  2. Gandalf has a much cooler beard.

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Some Resources

I’m feeling particularly sleep deprived and not up to my usual level of introspective and provocative writing (how’s that for laying on bullshit? I could go into politics). So you get links today. I’ll let other people do the writing.

The Skeptics Annotated Bible has terrific summaries and snippets on the bible’s viewpoint about major topics. See what the bible says about women’s rights:

Genesis 3:16
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

Or how about what God thinks of children:

Children who refuse to obey their parents must be executed.
If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear. — Deuteronomy 21:18-21
He that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death. — Exodus 21:15
He that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death. — Exodus 21:17
Children who mock their parents will have their eyes plucked out by ravens and eaten by eagles.
The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it. — Proverbs 30:17
Like Abraham, parents should be willing to kill their children for God.
And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and … offer him there for a burnt offering…. And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son. — Genesis 22:2,10

Another great resource, The Brick Testament shows us, using the word of God, exactly why we should follow His law. And see what He has to say about religious tolerance. Mmmmm, Lego and the wrath of god. What could be sweeter?


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