Posts Tagged idiots

This is why I won’t sit down and shut up

My 7 year old son was playing with a couple of neighbor kids, brothers, who apparently asked if he went to sunday school. My boy answered in the negative. When told that he was going to hell for not attending, he replied by informing them that he didn’t believe in hell. Which led to the revelation that he didn’t believe in god, either. Okay, no biggie, just a few kids feeling out their beliefs and discussing them with peers, right? Not so much. See, while reasonable folks see their kids being exposed to various religious beliefs as a good thing and use the experience to foster discussion, that’s not how these evangelicals roll. No, the correct response, as these two kids told my son, is to say that they are not allowed to play with him anymore on account of him not believing in god.

What. The. Fuck.

These are 7 year old kids we’re talking about! They play. They run around. They talk about shit. If your faith in a (imaginary) god is so weak it can’t survive talking to a 7 year old who thinks for himself then what’s the point of it?

Fortunately, my kid does think for himself. And after a bit of conversation about the situation, he just replied, “You know what mom? That’s a silly reason to not be friends. I have enough friends.”

So to you people who whine that we atheists are too loud and ask why do we make a big deal about it: this is fucking why. Because generations of kids are being indoctrinated since birth to mindlessly parrot what they are taught. And what they are being taught is intolerance and bigotry.

So I’m going to stand up and be loud. I’m going to point out that, according to your own mythology, this Jesus fellow you worship hung out with “sinners” like tax collectors and prostitutes. He didn’t avoid those who thought differently from him and he didn’t treat them like second-class citizens. I don’t see where he said, teach your children to shun and avoid godless kids, either. I guess that must be in the New Conservative Revised Version of the bible.

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I want to kick Jesus in the nuts!

I am royally pissed off right now. I mean seriously pissed. Back in 2008 I came out as an atheist. I fully expected some friends or family to have a hissy-fit, but the idea that there would be workplace ramifications never entered my mind. In my place of employment, that kind of crap is kept outside. All that matters is what kind of code I write and how I manage my team. Apparently that’s not the case for everyone.

My very good friend, who I shall call “Fucked by Jesus” or FBJ for short, was recently outed at work as being an atheist. Her place of employment is rather saturated with love of the lord, but it’s a huge organization with lots of public scrutiny, so while I expected to hear about some discomfort from the petty whisperings of narrow-minded theistic co-workers, I didn’t expect to hear about a full-blown attack being perpetrated against FBJ by the organization itself. Her internet access has been cut off, TweetDeck and iTunes uninstalled from her PC, her shit rifled through and they moved her to a new cubicle. No idea if that was to bring her closer to Jesus or what.

In the interest of fairness, if there is a policy against having applications like TweetDeck or iTunes installed, then they are legally within their rights to remove them. But I’ll bet you the price of a new bible that there are other, god-loving employees there with those applications installed who haven’t been touched.

This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I suspect that it is even illegal. She is being subjected to an extremely hostile work environment due solely to her religions preferences (or lack thereof). I think the ACLU needs to get involved. This kind of shit shouldn’t be happening in the 21st century. I thought the Inquisitions became passe after the Dark Ages. WTF?

Hang tough, girl! You’ve got the entire atheist community behind you on this one. No one fucks with the CyberLizard’s friends. I’ve got a whole pack of chupacabras just waiting to be unleashed on their asses. Just say the word.

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I can’t imagine a cuter couple

Here I am, putzing around in teh intertubes, looking for something to motivate me to blog. I should have known where to go first. They’ve never let me down before and it looks like they’re going to be just as much a source of lulz in 2010 as in previous years. Yes, I’m talking about the WorldNutDaily (or the WorldNetDaily as they like to call themselves. They’re the only ones who do). So what kind of republitard/religiotard insanity are they up to now? Let’s take a peek into the mind of madness, shall we?

WND Exclusive

You see that there? Where it says “WorldNetDaily Exclusive”? That’s a code phrase that means “We’re the only ones batshit crazy enough to publish this astounding crap”. Just an FYI.

Anyway, here’s the headline:

Palin-Farah ticket at 1st national tea-party convention

Americans unite to take country back from ‘grips of tyrannical government’

Sarah "Dontcha know" Palin

Joseph "Where's the birth certificate?!" Farah

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Can it be? Two of the craziest looney-toons on the scene in the same place? My mind reels at the thought of the staggering amount of stupid that will be excreted by the two of them. *sigh* So what will Beauty and Caribou Barbie be doing?

WND founder Joseph Farah will join former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin as speaker at the first national tea-party convention – and he plans to get Americans energized and excited about reclaiming the nation this year from the clutches of “tyrannical central government.”

At first I was really excited. Can you imagine the fun we would have in 2012 if those two yahoos ran for president? Alas, it was merely a forum for idiots to speak to morons. Or is that the other way around? Anyway, other attendees to this historic event include Rep Michele Bachmann, R- Minn. and Rep. Marsha Blackburn, R-Tenn. Yes, you read that right Michele “Seditionist” Bachmann will be adding her brand of crazy to the mix.

If only Joe the Plumber were going to be there, the whole tea-bagger movement might just be so inspired it would spontaneously combust. One can have dreams, anyway.

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The kid makes vintage look good

@Swoopy tweeted this article from the AJC about the ass-backwardness of people in Cobb county Georgia that set me off:

Jonathan Escobar says he chooses to wear clothes that express himself.  Skinny jeans, wigs, “vintage” clothing and makeup are the staples of his wardrobe. “I don’t consider myself a cross-dresser,” he said. “This is just who I am.”

But the 16-year-old says an assistant principal at North Cobb High School told him last week he needed to dress more “manly” for school, or consider being home-schooled. He had only been a student at the school for three days.

“I told myself I can’t accept this,” said Escobar, who wore a pink wig to school last Wednesday.

Not everyone can pull off a hat like that

Not everyone can pull off a hat like that

C’mon, the kid can work an outfit, what’s the big deal? Whassamatter, Mr. Assistant Principal, afraid you might get a little excited looking at him? Scared that if you get a chubby while seeing a dude in a wig you’ll turn gay?

For crying out loud, people, can we get over all this panty twisting about gender issues? He dressed tastefully, he looked good and he was a nice kid. Cut him some slack. He’s got bigger balls than you do for wearing that to school. I know; I only managed it for like one day.

Escobar said the  assistant principal told him his style of dress had caused a fight between students at the school. Two days later, he withdrew himself from the Kennesaw school.

I’d fight over him; he’s damn cute! Besides, I saw him first, bitch!

“You can’t wear clothing that causes a disruption,” said Jay Dillon Dildo[there, fixed that for ya’] spokesman for Cobb County schools.

Dillon Dildo said he believed Escobar arrived at school in a dress and heels. But Escobar said he never wore a dress. He says he opted for “skinny” jeans all three days with flats.

What, did the Jets and the Sharks start a rumble over his cute flats? I don’t get it. After a few days, the novelty would have worn off, any possible “disruptions” would blow over, and they could all just get along.

You know what the worst part is? He just wants to be loved!

Escobar said he moved to Cobb County from Miami to live with his older sister. His Florida school didn’t have an issue with the way he dressed, but his parents did. His sister, Veronica Escobar, urged her parents to let Jonathan come to live with her. Now she says she’s shocked by what has happened.

See? Poor kid, estranged from his parents for being true to himself. *sniff* Props to that Florida school for not being fucking stupid. Florida > Georgia FTW!

Jonathan Escobar says he wasn’t a disruption in the classroom, but he attracted attention in the lunchroom. “Everybody was surrounding me,” he said.

On his second day of school, Escobar says he was pulled out of class to speak with a police officer who told him he was concerned about the student’s safety.

“They should’ve told the students to back off,” Escobar said. “They should have never given me the option of homeschooling or changing who I am.”

Now I’m starting to get really pissed off. They’re concerned for his safety? Bullshit. This is awfully close to saying that the girl in the miniskirt deserves to get raped. You don’t create a place of safety by forcing people into the closet so that the bigoted fucktards don’t have to look at you. You create safety by creating tolerance, by educating. This isn’t a real hard concept to understand, folks. *sigh*

Apparently there’s a Facebook group for this kid, though I haven’t seen it yet. If you find it, let me know. I’m totally going to join. Maybe I can score a date with him 😉

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Is Rush Limpdick really this fucktarded?

Rush Limpdick is a racist fucktard

Rush Limpdick is a racist fucktard

Rush Limbaugh, the right-wing radio heavyweight declared on his program Wednesday that the United States needed to return to racially segregated buses.

Referring to an incident in which a white student was beaten by black students on a bus, Limbaugh said: “I think the guy’s wrong. I think not only it was racism, it was justifiable racism. I mean, that’s the lesson we’re being taught here today. Kid shouldn’t have been on the bus anyway. We need segregated buses — it was invading space and stuff. This is Obama’s America.”

A full transcript of Limbaugh’s comments on his radio show is available at

via Raw Story

At what point are all the reasonable people going to stand up to the disgusting racist feces being slung about by the “conservative” movement? The mainstream media needs to get off their collective arses and expose this shit for what it is: racist, violent and morally wrong. Quit hiding behind the guise of “balance”. Sometimes the other side is just plain wrong!

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It’s a good thing I’m not a teacher in Seminole County, because they would fire the hell out of me if they caught wind of my blog. I mean, if all it took for John Wolfe to get fired is to drop the f-bomb a few times and sound a little depressed on his LiveJournal, they’d probably stone me to fucking death.

Allow me to summarize the situation: Boy graduates from college. Boy has crappy job as waiter that he bitches a little about on blog. Boy gets job as teacher. School fires boy after 5 days for aforementioned blog.

WTF? I could understand it if he were talking about wanting to get it on with students or fantasizing about burning down the school, but unless there is a whole lot more shit on his blog than what is featured here, I can’t imagine how they can legally fire him. I know Florida is a right-to-work state and all, but c’mon!

From the article on the local Fox affiliate web site:

But district leaders say its really quite simple. They said that he crossed an ethical line, and for that, he must be terminated.

Wolfe has never had his own classroom. He has been a substitute teacher in Orange and Alachua Counties up until Lake Mary High School hired him this summer as a Television and Film teacher.

Just five days into the job, a few of his students stumbled across his personal online blog.

Read excerpts from Wolfe’s blog  >>>

After reading it, they told another teacher who reported it to district leaders who decided that Wolfe’s language and thoughts were inappropriate behavior for a teacher.

Let’s see, what horrific things did Wolfe talk about?

  • The lack of morality in major corporations and how they screw people
  • A tongue-in-cheek letter to Jesus asking for help with a job application
  • Some punk rock lyrics
  • How he had classes with some dude who later went psycho on campus and got arrested
  • His feelings of depression and his efforts to thwart it
  • An apology for being rude to someone earlier in the day
  • Oh, and he used the word fuck and shit like that

Yeah, it seems simple to me, now, too. It would be completely unethical to let this guy teach our children Film and Television. Fucktards.

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What kind of idiot walks into an open manhole while texting?

I asked myself that question when I first heard about this. Geez, talk about stupid.

Fast forward to today. I’m on a family trip to Disney. Walking through the park the idea strikes me that it would be fun to tweet what’s happening. No need to stop, I can tweet on the go. I was going at a pretty good clip, too, when an evil pole jumped in my path. Running into a waist-high pole at approximately 3mph is not a pleasant experience. My first thought was, “oh shit, didn’t Houdini die from an unexpected blow to the gut?”

The internal bleeding has probably slowed to a trickle by now. I’ll save the pics until the bruise really starts to ripen and look impressive.

So I found out what kind of idiot walks into open manholes (or silver poles) while texting. Me.


Now that's impressive!

Now that's impressive!

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If I were in charge, I’d fire Pat Buchanan

I am still amazed at the depths of racism in this country. One of the best side effects of electing Barack Obama is that the GOP has decided to finally reveal itself as what it truly is: a bunch of racist rednecks, drunk on power, incapable of recognizing reality even if she sat on their face and wiggled. What kind of person can hire Pat Buchanan and still look at themselves in the mirror? He’s always been a douchebag, but now he just comes right out and admits that he’s a racist. Here’s a sample of his eloquence:

White men were 100% of the people that wrote the Constitution, 100% of the people that signed the Declaration of Independence, 100% of the people who died at Gettysburg and Vicksburg, probably close to 100% of the people who died at Normandy. This has been a country built basically by white folks, who were 90% of the nation in 1960 when I was growing up and the other 10% were African-Americans who had been discriminated against. That’s why.

Watch Rachel not give an inch to this fucking moron.

Rachel, you’re a better person than I am to not try to reach through the monitor and rip is fucking head off.

ht: Atheist Revolution

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A movie review guaranteed to get me to the theater

Thanks to the WorldNutDaily, I’m definitely going to see this movie. The brilliant-as-usual Bob Unruh gives us a peek into the latest Sasha Baron Cohen film “Bruno”. Or rather gives us a peek into the mind of  Movieguide, the Christian Film & Television Commission ministry’s family guide to movies and entertainment and its founder Ted Baehr. The movie was so bad, Baehr told WND, “that it cannot accurately be described in print.” But they were gonna give it the old college try in a letter they’re sending to city managers and local district attorneys.

Our organization has just viewed the upcoming ‘R-rated’ movie ‘Brüno,’ which is scheduled to come out in local movie theaters Friday, July 10.

Based on our screening of it, and the opinion of many other critics, BRÜNO is the most vile, perverse movie ever made by a mainstream movie studio. This disgusting, abhorrent movie contains (among other things) extremely graphic scenes of heterosexual and homosexual sex acts, explicit scenes and extended close-ups of full male and full female nudity, an extended scene of a totally nude heterosexual woman repeatedly whipping a homosexual man in his bikini briefs, partial nude scenes (including full rear male nudity) where body parts are partially covered up with black bars placed in strategic places, obscenely graphic verbal descriptions of perverse sex acts in dialogue and conversations with real people, and images of a male black baby from Africa in a hot tub with white adults who are clearly interested in doing some kind of sex acts with one another.

Vile, perverse, disgusting, abhorrent? Boobies and dicks? Sounds like a damn fine film to me. Right up there with “Casablanca” and “Gone With The Wind” and “Debbie Does Dallas”.

Pssst… hey, fundies. I gotta tip for ya’: Don’t like what’s in a movie? Don’t go to see it!

Those poor souls at Movieguide, being forced to watch such filth! The sacrifices they make in the noble name of protecting the community. I wonder how many erections they had to conceal during their private screening? Down boy! This is filth! Vile, vile, filth! Hot, steamy, luscious filth! Hey, dude next to me, why are you rubbing my crotch?

But, of course, they’re not doing this for themselves.

He tells those managers and district attornys[sic], “Studies have shown conclusively that movies like this will harm the psychological development of children and teenagers of all ages. Other studies have shown that almost half of all movie theaters do not card underage children who try to get tickets to such vile R-rated movies as BRÜNO by themselves, unaccompanied by adults.

“The physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well being of your children and grandchildren is at stake!!!”


Guess what? I wouldn’t let my kid go see this movie. But I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let some pack of frothing at the mouth, sexually repressed fundies try to tell me that I can’t see it.

WND is not providing a link to the movie’s website because of the explicit content.

Hell, I’ll provide a link because of the explicit content. Click away, my pretties!


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Murder for Darwin!

Thank you, WorldNutDaily, for clearing up our misconceptions about James von Brunn, the psycho who thought it would be fun to shoot up a Holocaust museum. See, in a WND “Exclusive” (which means that only they are fucked up enough to take credit for printing this kind of garbage) Bob Unruh reveals the real motivation behind von Brunn’s rampage: Darwin made him do it! Seriously, they reveal all in their headline: Darwin-loving museum shooter hates Bible, Christians

James von Brunn, the man who allegedly shot and killed a guard at the Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C., was a Darwin-lover who hated the Bible and Christians, and defies media efforts to classify him as a stereotypical “right-winger,” according to report.

As the kids say, that’s a bold statement (The kids do say that, right?). This report must have some concrete evidence to back up a claim like that. Where did that report come from?

The Moonbattery blog revealed von Brunn advocated the socialist policies espoused by Adolf Hitler and used Darwinian theory to support his anti-Semitism.

Holy shit. A paranoid, conspiracy theorizing, hate and fear mongering site using another paranoid, conspiracy theorizing, hate and fear mongering site to back up their paranoid conspiracy theories.

Dammit, my irony meter just asploded.

Darwin and Hitler used to hang out; smoking pot and planning the destruction of the lesser races

Darwin and Hitler used to hang out; smoking pot and planning the destruction of the lesser races

The best part is that they can call him a “Darwin-lover” is because he dug Hitler and, as we all know, Hitler was Darwin’s best-man at his wedding. They used to go down to the local bruehaus and knock back shots together, before crafting plans to further the dominance of the Aryan race through eugenics.

I’m torn between wanting to laugh my ass of at the incredible lack of any sort of reasonable thought process in these people, and wanting to weep with the futility of trying to maintain sanity while fricking idiots like these are doing their damnedest to twist the world into the sick fantasy that exists in their own heads.

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