Posts Tagged christians

This is why I won’t sit down and shut up

My 7 year old son was playing with a couple of neighbor kids, brothers, who apparently asked if he went to sunday school. My boy answered in the negative. When told that he was going to hell for not attending, he replied by informing them that he didn’t believe in hell. Which led to the revelation that he didn’t believe in god, either. Okay, no biggie, just a few kids feeling out their beliefs and discussing them with peers, right? Not so much. See, while reasonable folks see their kids being exposed to various religious beliefs as a good thing and use the experience to foster discussion, that’s not how these evangelicals roll. No, the correct response, as these two kids told my son, is to say that they are not allowed to play with him anymore on account of him not believing in god.

What. The. Fuck.

These are 7 year old kids we’re talking about! They play. They run around. They talk about shit. If your faith in a (imaginary) god is so weak it can’t survive talking to a 7 year old who thinks for himself then what’s the point of it?

Fortunately, my kid does think for himself. And after a bit of conversation about the situation, he just replied, “You know what mom? That’s a silly reason to not be friends. I have enough friends.”

So to you people who whine that we atheists are too loud and ask why do we make a big deal about it: this is fucking why. Because generations of kids are being indoctrinated since birth to mindlessly parrot what they are taught. And what they are being taught is intolerance and bigotry.

So I’m going to stand up and be loud. I’m going to point out that, according to your own mythology, this Jesus fellow you worship hung out with “sinners” like tax collectors and prostitutes. He didn’t avoid those who thought differently from him and he didn’t treat them like second-class citizens. I don’t see where he said, teach your children to shun and avoid godless kids, either. I guess that must be in the New Conservative Revised Version of the bible.

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I want to kick Jesus in the nuts!

I am royally pissed off right now. I mean seriously pissed. Back in 2008 I came out as an atheist. I fully expected some friends or family to have a hissy-fit, but the idea that there would be workplace ramifications never entered my mind. In my place of employment, that kind of crap is kept outside. All that matters is what kind of code I write and how I manage my team. Apparently that’s not the case for everyone.

My very good friend, who I shall call “Fucked by Jesus” or FBJ for short, was recently outed at work as being an atheist. Her place of employment is rather saturated with love of the lord, but it’s a huge organization with lots of public scrutiny, so while I expected to hear about some discomfort from the petty whisperings of narrow-minded theistic co-workers, I didn’t expect to hear about a full-blown attack being perpetrated against FBJ by the organization itself. Her internet access has been cut off, TweetDeck and iTunes uninstalled from her PC, her shit rifled through and they moved her to a new cubicle. No idea if that was to bring her closer to Jesus or what.

In the interest of fairness, if there is a policy against having applications like TweetDeck or iTunes installed, then they are legally within their rights to remove them. But I’ll bet you the price of a new bible that there are other, god-loving employees there with those applications installed who haven’t been touched.

This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I suspect that it is even illegal. She is being subjected to an extremely hostile work environment due solely to her religions preferences (or lack thereof). I think the ACLU needs to get involved. This kind of shit shouldn’t be happening in the 21st century. I thought the Inquisitions became passe after the Dark Ages. WTF?

Hang tough, girl! You’ve got the entire atheist community behind you on this one. No one fucks with the CyberLizard’s friends. I’ve got a whole pack of chupacabras just waiting to be unleashed on their asses. Just say the word.

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Very few things are this amusing

Srsly. And it is the perfect activity for Blasphemy Day tomorrow.

Cover up, for god's sake!

Cover up, for god's sake!

Remember paper dolls? And those Color-form things? This is even better: Jesus Dress Up! Don’t let him get all cold, hanging up there; dress him up!

And in case anyone is looking for any gift ideas, they sell refrigerator magnet sets. I’m just sayin’.

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CreoZerg rush!

I know, I’m slacking, I’m behind the curve, but this promises to be one of the greates sources of lulz since, well, since Jesus rode into town on a triceratops.

Get on Twitter and follow #creozerg for moar lulz.

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A movie review guaranteed to get me to the theater

Thanks to the WorldNutDaily, I’m definitely going to see this movie. The brilliant-as-usual Bob Unruh gives us a peek into the latest Sasha Baron Cohen film “Bruno”. Or rather gives us a peek into the mind of  Movieguide, the Christian Film & Television Commission ministry’s family guide to movies and entertainment and its founder Ted Baehr. The movie was so bad, Baehr told WND, “that it cannot accurately be described in print.” But they were gonna give it the old college try in a letter they’re sending to city managers and local district attorneys.

Our organization has just viewed the upcoming ‘R-rated’ movie ‘Brüno,’ which is scheduled to come out in local movie theaters Friday, July 10.

Based on our screening of it, and the opinion of many other critics, BRÜNO is the most vile, perverse movie ever made by a mainstream movie studio. This disgusting, abhorrent movie contains (among other things) extremely graphic scenes of heterosexual and homosexual sex acts, explicit scenes and extended close-ups of full male and full female nudity, an extended scene of a totally nude heterosexual woman repeatedly whipping a homosexual man in his bikini briefs, partial nude scenes (including full rear male nudity) where body parts are partially covered up with black bars placed in strategic places, obscenely graphic verbal descriptions of perverse sex acts in dialogue and conversations with real people, and images of a male black baby from Africa in a hot tub with white adults who are clearly interested in doing some kind of sex acts with one another.

Vile, perverse, disgusting, abhorrent? Boobies and dicks? Sounds like a damn fine film to me. Right up there with “Casablanca” and “Gone With The Wind” and “Debbie Does Dallas”.

Pssst… hey, fundies. I gotta tip for ya’: Don’t like what’s in a movie? Don’t go to see it!

Those poor souls at Movieguide, being forced to watch such filth! The sacrifices they make in the noble name of protecting the community. I wonder how many erections they had to conceal during their private screening? Down boy! This is filth! Vile, vile, filth! Hot, steamy, luscious filth! Hey, dude next to me, why are you rubbing my crotch?

But, of course, they’re not doing this for themselves.

He tells those managers and district attornys[sic], “Studies have shown conclusively that movies like this will harm the psychological development of children and teenagers of all ages. Other studies have shown that almost half of all movie theaters do not card underage children who try to get tickets to such vile R-rated movies as BRÜNO by themselves, unaccompanied by adults.

“The physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well being of your children and grandchildren is at stake!!!”


Guess what? I wouldn’t let my kid go see this movie. But I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let some pack of frothing at the mouth, sexually repressed fundies try to tell me that I can’t see it.

WND is not providing a link to the movie’s website because of the explicit content.

Hell, I’ll provide a link because of the explicit content. Click away, my pretties!


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Which version of Job is more fun?

Job is my favorite. Because, of course, nothing says fun like boils, pestilence and death just to prove a point. Which one of these versions do you like better? I’m having trouble deciding.

LOLCat Bible Translation Project

LOLCat Bible Translation Project

The Brick Testament

The Brick Testament

Of course, if you really want to get geeky AND creepy, check out this version:

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh C'thulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh C'thulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

ht: Jason

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Reading comprehension problem amongst the fundies

Where Church and State really intersect

Where Church and State really intersect

I couldn’t decide whether to LMAO or throw up. The EPIC FAIL that is fundies never ceases to amaze me. I stumbled upon one of their Facebook groups.

Put Christ Back Into Schools*

Allow freedom of teaching of the Bible by all teachers in all schools across America.

  1. Allow Teaching of and only the Bible by teachers at any time to students anytime.
  2. Allowing the Bible (and only the Bible) to be an elective in all schools, and not forced upon.
Education – Elementary and Secondary
*We believe every teacher should have the right to teach the Bible at any time. Please note: To clearify, this group is for teaching of the entire Bible, and only the Bible. According 1st Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, every person has the right to religion. Why is praying/reading of the Bible not allowed in most schools?

Let’s go ahead and take a look at the actual text of the 1st Amendment, shall we?

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

The first sentence is what the ignorant fundies are talking about: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;…” This is widely regarded as designed to prevent the establishment of a state religion by the government. It is also interpreted by the Supreme Court to mean that the government cannot promote one religion over another (Board of Education of Kiryas Joel Village School District v. Grumet, 512 U.S. 687 (1994), Justice David Souter, writing for the majority, concluded that “government should not prefer one religion to another, or religion to irreligion”.)

What this group advocating the return of “Christ” to the classroom is seeking is inherently unconstitutional. They make this clear in their position statements: “Allow Teaching of and only the Bible by teachers at any time to students anytime.” Right there, see that? They want the government to promote their bible over any other religious text. And just in case we missed it, they’ve got an asterisk note:

We believe every teacher should have the right to teach the Bible at any time. Please note: To clearify[sic], this group is for teaching of the entire Bible, and only the Bible.

C’mon, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that this is clearly discriminatory and blatantly unconstitutional. Why should your mythology get preferential treatment over any other?

According [sic] 1st Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, every person has the right to religion. Why is praying/reading of the Bible not allowed in most schools?

Why is this so fracking hard to understand: every student has the absolute right to pray/read the bible in school. No one has argued that they don’t have that right or shouldn’t have that right. What we’re trying to avoid is having the schools (aka the government) impose your mythology in our institutes of education.

Let me put it in a way that even fundies can understand. Let’s say your kid came home and told you that their teacher was telling them that Odin created the world and that if they died in battle they would get to go to Valhalla. I can safely say that you would be mildly concerned. It’s the same thing for the rest of us when our kids come home saying that teacher said that their going to hell unless they worship some dude named Jesus. School is about edumacation, not indoctrination. Students should be learning about the factual realities of the world, devoid of any religious trappings.


I know I’m just preaching to the choir here (no pun intended). Any fundie who reads this isn’t going to get it. “That’s completely different,” they’ll say. “The bible is real, not like that other crap about multiple gods or (god forbid) no god at all!”

All we can do is to try to keep our voices heard and promote the strict enforcement of the separation of church and state. This isn’t just an atheist issue. It affects all of us who support a secular government and an educational system based on fact, not mythology.

Here are some resources:

Americans United for Separation of Church and State

ACLU – American Civil Liberties Union

NCSE – National Center for Science Education

Me, I liek mudkips

Me, I liek mudkips

Jesus lieks the little children

Jesus lieks teh little children

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Murder for Jesus, save a fetus

I’m reposting this in its entirety because I feel that it is extremely important to expose this kind of vileness  to the light of day and force people to be responsible for inciting and rejoicing in murder. By now you’ve probably already heard about the murder of Dr. Tiller in Kansas. Apparently, being a physician who performs abortions is a good reason to be shot down. It wasn’t the first attempt on his life either. In 1986 a bomb was placed on the roof of his clinic, and in 1993 he was shot in both arms outside his clinic but returned to work after recovering from his injuries. This time he won’t be returning anywhere.

Here’s what the sick fucks that call them selves “pro-life” have to say about the taking of his life, via Carnal Nation:

One side effect of twitter is that the stupid, bigoted, comments people used to make at the water cooler now get preserved for future employers to find using google.

A small sample of the hatred expressed on twitter after the assassination of Dr Tiller.

  • Crap, I always forgot hashtags. I’m happy Tiller’s dead. – Jennifer Waite, Selah, Washington
  • UPDATE… Doctor George Tiller was aborted today in his 204th trimester – aren’t paybacks a bitch – Punch
  • oh HAPPY DAY! Tiller the baby killer is DEAD! – Samantha Pelch
  • George Tiller the baby killer was shot dead this morning. God bless the gunmen who hopefully won’t be caught. – readnwatchchris, Creedmor. NC
  • was George Tiller the baby killers brain scrambled the way he scrambled full term fetuses.. one can only hope – Brad S
  • Infamous baby killer George Tiller gunned down at (irony) church. Why do I not feel sorry for him? Have fun at Judgment Day. – James Fiddler
  • tiller the baby killer shot dead…wow. is it insensitive of me to say what goes around comes around? – Brad M. Negulescu Cleveland.
  • George Tiller the Baby Killer shot dead. May he rot in Hell. – Amy Strong
  • Tiller Baby Killer was shot and killed this morning Justice has been served. – Shirl Ledeux
  • Thinking about “Tiller the baby killer” He now knows the wages of sin is death. – Dianne McDowell
  • May Tiller rot in Hell , infanticide is the murder of babies, he WAS a provider of death like Hitler, Bundy the list goes on…. – Dennis, A People Voip Company
  • Burn in hell George Tiller – mikedanben Sparta, NJ (41.005501,-74.672)
  • No need to pray for George Tiller. We know he went straight to hell!!!!! – Laurie D. Bailey Olive Branch, MS
  • Good ridence to Tiller – babies will not be murdered because he is now gone. Wonder how he likes hell! – Jay Emess, Southern, NJ
  • Karma is a beautiful thing. Cheers to the hero who sent George Tiller where he belongs… straight to hell. – Matthew Kamar
  • omg!george tiller abortion dr. was killed n his church parkn lot! hell yea! – Sarah Gulick, Wtichita, Ks
  • George Tiller: Burning in Hell for the last three hours. – darthdilbert Kettering, Oh
  • Hmm, I know it’s wrong, but I feel like the Late-Term Abortion Doctor George Tiller, got what was he deserved….. – Mary Keogh London England
  • Boom Boom Boom. George Tiller was served a very very late term abortion this morning. – Chad Coleman, coeur d’alene, Id

The Twitter search “Geroge Tiller” OR #Tiller was running at about one tweet per second for the last two hours.  The overwhelming majority of tweets from both sides of the abortion issue expressed horror at the assassination of Dr Tiller.

If you are as outranged as we are by this senseless assassination please donate to Planned Parenthood in honor of Dr Tiller.

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About damn time!

Courtesy of our friends at the Pew Forum on Religious and Public Life comes news that people who murder their children via extreme and willful neglect will be going to court on manslaughter charges. I’m not talking about a parent who leaves their kid in a locked car on a summer day or has a gun hanging around loaded for a toddler to find. I’m referring to these child abusers who decide that medical intervention is against the teachings of their church and let their children die rather than go to a doctor and take an antibiotic.

Two high-profile deaths from 2008 will land in the courts in 2009 when the Oregon justice system determines whether members of an Oregon City faith-healing church acted criminally in the deaths of two children who were denied medical treatment.

The trials, in Clackamas County Circuit Court, could lead to the first legal tests of a 1999 state law disallowing faith-healing at the expense of a child’s life.

What’s more, the almost-certain appeals in the cases may ask the courts to redefine the balance between freedom of religion and parents’ legal responsibilities for the health and safety of minors.

The first trial, set for Jan. 26, will weigh manslaughter and criminal mistreatment charges against Carl Brent Worthington, 38, and his wife, Raylene Marie Worthington, 26, in the death of their 15-month-old daughter, Ava. The girl died last March of bronchial pneumonia and blood infections after she was denied conventional medical care.

In the second trial, set for June 23, Raylene Worthington’s parents, Jeffrey Dean Beagley, 50, and his wife, Marci Rae Beagley, 47, of Oregon City will face charges of criminally negligent homicide in the death of their 16-year-old son, Neil. The boy died in June of heart failure triggered by a urinary tract blockage.

In both deaths, state medical examiners said both children could have been treated with routine medical procedures or medicine.

The common thread in both cases is the Followers of Christ Church, a fundamentalist sect that bans medical attention for congregation members, instead relying on prayer vigils and the “laying on of hands.”

This disgusts me. My 2 yr old little girl recently had pneumonia. It is very scary when your child is sick and having trouble breathing. To passively sit and rely on prayer vigils and the “laying on of hands” while that child dies is completely beyond my comprehension as both a parent and a human being. I can guarantee you that if one of those parents were in my presence dying, I would do everything that I possibly could to save their life. So what does that tell you about the difference between “Christian” and atheist morals?

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