Archive for category Education

Why I’m embarrassed to admit that we homeschool our kids

Being a skeptical, secular homeschooling parent is a tough gig these days. If you don’t want to stay isolated in your basement with your kids, it’s important to find a local homeschooling group. They can provide field trips, educational opportunities, support and resources. They can also provide the lulz.

We belong to a local group that maintains a strong secular focus. They will not allow posts on “potentially controversial topics” such as religion or politics. While I’m all for freedom of speech, some places have to be provided as safe zones where a narrow focus needs to be maintained. And in this group, educating our children is our focus. It is not a place to get bogged down in flame wars about Right vs Left or Jesus vs Zeus (Zeus would totally kick Jesus’ butt in a cage match. One word: lightning bolts (I know, it’s two words. Deal) Just sayin’).

I was going somewhere with this, I swear. Oh, yeah, the lulz. Sometimes a gem slips through the moderation cracks, like this post that just came through. It has to be shared; it is a moral imperative.

The post reads as follows:

Defending your Christian Faith in a Secular World Class For Home School Middle and High School Students
35 week class
Beginning in September 12, 2011 – May 21, 2012
Day: Monday 3:00-4:30 (meet once a week)
Cost: $10.00/ per class; paid one month in advance
Location: Crossings Community Church
Teacher: Mrs. Joanne Whitaker – New Life Christian Certified Teacher and BA Psychology / Education* Home Schooling for 8 years (2003- present )

Wow. Just, wow. As humorous as this is in and of itself, it gets better. Here’s the justification for the need for such a class.

Survey Data from Barna Research Group and USA Today

Most teens and young adults will reject their Christian faith after leaving high school and attending college. Christian Apologist, Frank Turek at crossexamined.org gives the following reasons why Christian youth in America are leaving the church:

• 70-75% of Christian youth leave the church after high school and Intellectual skepticism is one of the major reasons they walk away.
• Most Christian students are not equipped to resist rabidly anti-Christian college professors who are intent on converting their students to Atheism.
• College professors are five times more likely to identify themselves as atheists than the general public.
• More than half of all college professors view Evangelical Christian students unfavorably
• The “new atheists” — Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens — are writing books and are growing in popularity.

The reason for this exodus is that Christian youth in America are not being taught to cross examine the skeptical and atheistic views they encounter when they leave home and attend college classes and also socialize with Non Christians who have a Worldview opposed to a Christian Worldview

1 Peter 3:15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect…

OH NOEZ! Dem evil athiests be WRITING BOOKS! TEH HORRORZ!

Ahem. Pardon the outburst. I was just terrified for a moment about those Non Christians and their Worldview. Ok, actually it was the Random Capitalization that really frightened me. But seriously, these pious kids are having to “…reject rabidly anti-Christian college professors who are intent on converting their students to Atheism”? I didn’t realize that they were all going to have PZ Myers as a prof 😛 And Yahweh forbid that they encounter  “…skeptical and atheistic views” out in the big bad world! They might just adopt some of that there “Intellectual skepticism” and then the church would really be fucked, wouldn’t it?

Because they want to attract as many lemmings zombies cult members followers as possible, they’ve graciously provided us with the curriculum that will be used in this stellar example of Christian Apologetics.

Class Description

Christian apologetics – is that branch of Christianity that deals with answering any and all critics who oppose or question the revelation of God in Christ and the Bible. It can include studying such subjects as biblical manuscript transmission, philosophy, biology, mathematics, evolution, and logic. But it can also consist of simply giving an answer to a question about Jesus or a Bible passage. The latter case is by far the most common and you don’t have to read a ton of books to do that.

Nope, you only gotta read one book. But it’s a good book, don’t ya know!

For the Apologetic portion of this course, I will be utilizing Josh and Sean McDowell videos. I will also include Summit Ministries Understanding the Times which consists of explaining Worldview such as learning about other religions, Postmodernism, Secular Humanism, Marxism, Atheism, Agnostic, and other various views that oppose Christianity. The third resource in teaching Apologetics is I will provide Scientific facts that rebuke Evolution using Does God Exist? Kit: Building the Scientific Case (TrueU) by Stephen Meyer produced by Focus on the Family.

Ooooooh, not just scientific facts but “Scientific facts”! Who knew that thousands of hours of research, observation, genetic  and fossil evidence could be rebuked by a Kit you can buy? From a hate group called Focus on the Family no less!

Creation vs. Evolution, The Big Bang Theory, Intelligent Design – I will be utilizing Darwin’s Dilemma DVD by Stephen Meyer, Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron Evolution DVD (The Way of the Master), and other various resources to give concrete evidence so students can defend their faith to support Creation and rebuke Evolution.

Mrs Whittaker, did you… I mean… you actually are going to show this with a straight face? Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron? Srsly? I mean, c’mon, the banana? The epitome of intelligent design? I literally busted out laughing at this. This has got to be a poe, right?

Furthermore, utilizing Dr. Kent Hovind and Eric Hovind – beginning in 1989, Dr. Hovind’s ministry continues to grow as he has spoken more than 900 times each year in public and private schools, churches, university debates, and on radio and television broadcasts. His humorous, fast-paced, illustrated seminars provide documented evidence against the unscientific theory of evolution that goes against Scripture. The information presented concerning dinosaurs in the Bible (including a few that are living today) reflects his extensive study in the field of Crypto zoology. Dr. Hovind’s mission is to strengthen the faith of believers, to confound and to convince the evolutionists, and to win the lost to Christ.

Apparently grammar is not critical to “confound and convince the evolutionists”. Neither is obeying the law. And I gotta say, I had no idea these loons were delving into “Crypto zoology” to back up their ridiculous claims, though I suspect they really mean cryptozoology. Did you know Mr and Mrs Bigfoot were on the Ark? It’s true, I read it in the bible. Or something.

I know, this is getting tl;dr, but it’s just so chock full of goodies I can’t help myself!

Christian Psychology – My major in college was Psychology; therefore I am going to educate the class on the theories and theorists that they will be learn about in college; however using a Christian perspective. The various areas of Psychology will include: Behavior; Nature, Nurture, and Human Diversity, Developing Through The Life Span, Personality, Thinking and Language, Intelligence, Social Psychology, Perception, Learning, Emotion. Many of the theories are Atheistic and we will be discussing; the difference between a Secular World view and Christian View of each theory. Psychology, Science, and History are the main courses that require students to defend their faith.

Again, grammar and sentence structure are NOT important for defending your faith in an imaginary sky daddy who loves dead babies and foreskins.

Hey, did you know that “Personality, Thinking and Language, Intelligence, Social Psychology, Perception, Learning, Emotion” are Atheistic? You will after you take this course!

Ok, we’re in the home stretch now.

World Religions – we will be studying other religions so that we understand what others believe so that we can rebuke other religions and also witness to other people about Christianity. It is easier to witness when you know what other religions believe (Scientology, Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam, etc…)
[emphasis mine]

In conclusion, after completing this course students will be able to attend college and defend their faith instead of questioning it or even turning away from it.

Home School Students will receive ½ semester High School Psychology Credit and a ½ semester Bible Credit for taking this class – both elective credits

I would SO love to go to this class but I know that I wouldn’t be able to keep my smart-ass mouth shut. Besides, I’m probably already blackballed  by this homeschool group for previous transgressions. So if anyone wants to go and write about this, I’ll fork over the bucks and post your results here.

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You’re having sex with *how* many people?!?

Subtitle: Part One of an Ongoing Series Dedicated to the Deconstruction of  Arguments Against Polyamory or NAMBLA

This is not a fully researched, peer-reviewed, cited and documented critical analysis. You won’t find dry, scholarly lecturing using enormous words that only three people in the history of people understand the meaning of and one of those three people went insane in the 1960’s trying to decide whether it was an historic moment or a historic moment and is now wandering in the woods sans underwear, unavailable to answer questions. No, these are my thoughts, off the top of my head, about some arguments against polyamory that I made up off of the bottom of my head. Exactly why the top and bottom parts of my brain are having an argument is better left for a different blog post.

What is polyamory, you ask? I’m glad you asked, friend, glad you asked! Poly, from the greek poly meaning many; –amor, from the latin amor, meaning love; and –y, from the Aztec qxztyclx, meaning, well, no one is sure what it means and the scholarship is sorely lacking on exactly why it is considered part of the etymology of the word “polyamory” so for our purposes, we’ll simply ignore it. Therefore, polyamory directly translates into “many loves (plus that bizarre part we’re going to ignore)”. Polyamory is a having loving, intimate relationships with more than one person, all of whom are aware of all of the relationships. Consent and communication are at the core of this configuration. Let’s take a moment to visualize a standard-issue V-configuration (technical term) consisting of A) one person, B) another person and C) some third person who’s gender is inconsequential to our discussion and therefore is being omitted to preserve our feminist street cred. Now that we’ve all pictured a hot threesome with myself, Captain Jack Harkness and Kathy Ireland, let’s get back to our V-configuration. Person A is in a loving, intimate relationship with person B. Person B is in a loving, intimate relationship with person C. Person C may or may not be interested in Captain Jack Harkness, but that’s beside the point. The point is that there are multiple loving, intimate relationships between these three people that they are all aware of and consent to. Ergo, polyamory!

Perhaps the easiest way to understand polyamory is to contrast it against its non-identical cousin monogamy. Even though monogamy prefers to go by its nickname from high school, The Bull, we’re going to refer to it as monogamy because The Bull is a really stupid nickname that deserves to be left among the detritus of other high school memories such as wedgies, swirlies and that one time you threw up on that really cute girl’s shoes at the dance in the gym. Monogamy should be familiar with anyone who is familiar with Disney World. At Disney World they have these new-fangled contraptions called monorails. These monorails are similar to their sibling duorails only, being born second, they got shafted in the inheritance department and only ended up with one single rail. Hence we now refer to anything that only has one something as mono. Monogamous people are people who only have one gamy. Since the word gamy is offensive to the indigenous peoples of the south antarctic island of Halakalmoniqua, we’re going to use its more popular (and arguably less offensive) synonym, spouse.

To summarize, monogamous people only have one spouse or partner. Polyamorous people have >1 partners. That’s pretty much it. Simple. Non-complex. Quite straightforward.

Or so it would seem. Not everyone on the third planet orbiting a medium sized yellow star called Sol is cool with the whole >1 part of polyamory. Hence, conflict. Hence, strife. Hence, turmoil. Hence, this blog.

What possible problem could anyone find with >1? In a great number of areas of life, having >1 of something is considered a point of pride. In the case of money the further one gets from 1 in a positive direction on the number line, the more wealthy one is considered. In the case of relationships, this dynamic changes. That’s what we are going to be discussing in this epic, sensational, only partially fictionalized ongoing series of blog posts.

Kathy Ireland in a bikini

I used to have this picture of Kathy on the inside of my locker door in high school.

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The origin of Wednesday

The paths that words take to their present form often make for circuitous and fascinating stories. The mild-mannered word “Wednesday”, part of our everyday English speaking experience, spoken with almost nary a thought, has a particularly twisted (and tawdry) background.

Way back in the anals of English linguistic history, prior to the advent of the written language (but not, interestingly enough, before the advent of Penthouse Letters), the middle day of the work week was actually “Weirdsday”. It was called thus because the weirdos would pop out of holes in their desert dwellings in the ground, look around and, being neither frightened nor aware of their shadows, would get scooped up by hawks and taken back to the predatory birds’ nests. The young hawks babies would voraciously disembowel the hapless weirdos and discard their eviscerated carcasses on the ground whereupon primitive humans would collect them and subsequently exclaim, “It must be Weirdsday!” Forensic artist reconstruction of an eviscerated Weirdo

Consequently, Weirdsday was a rather peculiar bunch of letters and would often be found roaming the streets of Olde Londone Towne into the wee hours of morning, having first gotten completely pissed (that’s drunk for those illiterate in Brit-speak) at a number of pubs. As you would expect, being quite inebriated, this drunken band of merry letters, led by that notorious prankster W (or as he preferred to be called Big Dub), would on occasion lose a member or two of their pack. One tragic night, i and r decided to visit a rather disreputable establishment. Theirs is a horrific story of woe and misery, but suffice it to say, they were never seen again (I’ve heard that Tuesday was somehow involved, but the evidence for that is largely circumstantial and the District Attorney could never convince a grand jury).

To drown their sorrows (and because it’s what they always did on the middle day of the week) Wedsday hit the local pubs and got trashed even worse than usual. Big Dub decided that the missing letters must be replaced. To that end, and because they were horny as hell, they payed a visit the “red light district” aka “part of town with all the whore houses”. After several hours of debauchery and doing lines of blow off a hooker’s ass, a couple of the workers at the establishment agreed to join up. Thus it was that n and e joined the throng and Wednesday was born. Not in a manger, though. That would be unsanitary.

Modern English linguistic experts are in some disagreement as to a few of the precise details, however the overall sequence of events fits quite nicely with the evidence and you can be quite secure in passing this origin story down to your children as part of their Kindergarten learning experience, confident that you are instilling in them a true appreciation for English Linguistics.

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The kid makes vintage look good

@Swoopy tweeted this article from the AJC about the ass-backwardness of people in Cobb county Georgia that set me off:

Jonathan Escobar says he chooses to wear clothes that express himself.  Skinny jeans, wigs, “vintage” clothing and makeup are the staples of his wardrobe. “I don’t consider myself a cross-dresser,” he said. “This is just who I am.”

But the 16-year-old says an assistant principal at North Cobb High School told him last week he needed to dress more “manly” for school, or consider being home-schooled. He had only been a student at the school for three days.

“I told myself I can’t accept this,” said Escobar, who wore a pink wig to school last Wednesday.

Not everyone can pull off a hat like that

Not everyone can pull off a hat like that

C’mon, the kid can work an outfit, what’s the big deal? Whassamatter, Mr. Assistant Principal, afraid you might get a little excited looking at him? Scared that if you get a chubby while seeing a dude in a wig you’ll turn gay?

For crying out loud, people, can we get over all this panty twisting about gender issues? He dressed tastefully, he looked good and he was a nice kid. Cut him some slack. He’s got bigger balls than you do for wearing that to school. I know; I only managed it for like one day.

Escobar said the  assistant principal told him his style of dress had caused a fight between students at the school. Two days later, he withdrew himself from the Kennesaw school.

I’d fight over him; he’s damn cute! Besides, I saw him first, bitch!

“You can’t wear clothing that causes a disruption,” said Jay Dillon Dildo[there, fixed that for ya’] spokesman for Cobb County schools.

Dillon Dildo said he believed Escobar arrived at school in a dress and heels. But Escobar said he never wore a dress. He says he opted for “skinny” jeans all three days with flats.

What, did the Jets and the Sharks start a rumble over his cute flats? I don’t get it. After a few days, the novelty would have worn off, any possible “disruptions” would blow over, and they could all just get along.

You know what the worst part is? He just wants to be loved!

Escobar said he moved to Cobb County from Miami to live with his older sister. His Florida school didn’t have an issue with the way he dressed, but his parents did. His sister, Veronica Escobar, urged her parents to let Jonathan come to live with her. Now she says she’s shocked by what has happened.

See? Poor kid, estranged from his parents for being true to himself. *sniff* Props to that Florida school for not being fucking stupid. Florida > Georgia FTW!

Jonathan Escobar says he wasn’t a disruption in the classroom, but he attracted attention in the lunchroom. “Everybody was surrounding me,” he said.

On his second day of school, Escobar says he was pulled out of class to speak with a police officer who told him he was concerned about the student’s safety.

“They should’ve told the students to back off,” Escobar said. “They should have never given me the option of homeschooling or changing who I am.”

Now I’m starting to get really pissed off. They’re concerned for his safety? Bullshit. This is awfully close to saying that the girl in the miniskirt deserves to get raped. You don’t create a place of safety by forcing people into the closet so that the bigoted fucktards don’t have to look at you. You create safety by creating tolerance, by educating. This isn’t a real hard concept to understand, folks. *sigh*

Apparently there’s a Facebook group for this kid, though I haven’t seen it yet. If you find it, let me know. I’m totally going to join. Maybe I can score a date with him 😉

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Un-fucking-acceptable

It’s a good thing I’m not a teacher in Seminole County, because they would fire the hell out of me if they caught wind of my blog. I mean, if all it took for John Wolfe to get fired is to drop the f-bomb a few times and sound a little depressed on his LiveJournal, they’d probably stone me to fucking death.

Allow me to summarize the situation: Boy graduates from college. Boy has crappy job as waiter that he bitches a little about on blog. Boy gets job as teacher. School fires boy after 5 days for aforementioned blog.

WTF? I could understand it if he were talking about wanting to get it on with students or fantasizing about burning down the school, but unless there is a whole lot more shit on his blog than what is featured here, I can’t imagine how they can legally fire him. I know Florida is a right-to-work state and all, but c’mon!

From the article on the local Fox affiliate web site:

But district leaders say its really quite simple. They said that he crossed an ethical line, and for that, he must be terminated.

Wolfe has never had his own classroom. He has been a substitute teacher in Orange and Alachua Counties up until Lake Mary High School hired him this summer as a Television and Film teacher.

Just five days into the job, a few of his students stumbled across his personal online blog.

Read excerpts from Wolfe’s blog  >>>

After reading it, they told another teacher who reported it to district leaders who decided that Wolfe’s language and thoughts were inappropriate behavior for a teacher.

Let’s see, what horrific things did Wolfe talk about?

  • The lack of morality in major corporations and how they screw people
  • A tongue-in-cheek letter to Jesus asking for help with a job application
  • Some punk rock lyrics
  • How he had classes with some dude who later went psycho on campus and got arrested
  • His feelings of depression and his efforts to thwart it
  • An apology for being rude to someone earlier in the day
  • Oh, and he used the word fuck and shit like that

Yeah, it seems simple to me, now, too. It would be completely unethical to let this guy teach our children Film and Television. Fucktards.

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Reading comprehension problem amongst the fundies

Where Church and State really intersect

Where Church and State really intersect

I couldn’t decide whether to LMAO or throw up. The EPIC FAIL that is fundies never ceases to amaze me. I stumbled upon one of their Facebook groups.

Put Christ Back Into Schools*

Allow freedom of teaching of the Bible by all teachers in all schools across America.

Positions:
  1. Allow Teaching of and only the Bible by teachers at any time to students anytime.
  2. Allowing the Bible (and only the Bible) to be an elective in all schools, and not forced upon.
Category:
Education – Elementary and Secondary
Description:
*We believe every teacher should have the right to teach the Bible at any time. Please note: To clearify, this group is for teaching of the entire Bible, and only the Bible. According 1st Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, every person has the right to religion. Why is praying/reading of the Bible not allowed in most schools?

Let’s go ahead and take a look at the actual text of the 1st Amendment, shall we?

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

The first sentence is what the ignorant fundies are talking about: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;…” This is widely regarded as designed to prevent the establishment of a state religion by the government. It is also interpreted by the Supreme Court to mean that the government cannot promote one religion over another (Board of Education of Kiryas Joel Village School District v. Grumet, 512 U.S. 687 (1994), Justice David Souter, writing for the majority, concluded that “government should not prefer one religion to another, or religion to irreligion”.)

What this group advocating the return of “Christ” to the classroom is seeking is inherently unconstitutional. They make this clear in their position statements: “Allow Teaching of and only the Bible by teachers at any time to students anytime.” Right there, see that? They want the government to promote their bible over any other religious text. And just in case we missed it, they’ve got an asterisk note:

We believe every teacher should have the right to teach the Bible at any time. Please note: To clearify[sic], this group is for teaching of the entire Bible, and only the Bible.

C’mon, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that this is clearly discriminatory and blatantly unconstitutional. Why should your mythology get preferential treatment over any other?

According [sic] 1st Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, every person has the right to religion. Why is praying/reading of the Bible not allowed in most schools?

Why is this so fracking hard to understand: every student has the absolute right to pray/read the bible in school. No one has argued that they don’t have that right or shouldn’t have that right. What we’re trying to avoid is having the schools (aka the government) impose your mythology in our institutes of education.

Let me put it in a way that even fundies can understand. Let’s say your kid came home and told you that their teacher was telling them that Odin created the world and that if they died in battle they would get to go to Valhalla. I can safely say that you would be mildly concerned. It’s the same thing for the rest of us when our kids come home saying that teacher said that their going to hell unless they worship some dude named Jesus. School is about edumacation, not indoctrination. Students should be learning about the factual realities of the world, devoid of any religious trappings.

*sigh*

I know I’m just preaching to the choir here (no pun intended). Any fundie who reads this isn’t going to get it. “That’s completely different,” they’ll say. “The bible is real, not like that other crap about multiple gods or (god forbid) no god at all!”

All we can do is to try to keep our voices heard and promote the strict enforcement of the separation of church and state. This isn’t just an atheist issue. It affects all of us who support a secular government and an educational system based on fact, not mythology.

Here are some resources:

Americans United for Separation of Church and State

ACLU – American Civil Liberties Union

NCSE – National Center for Science Education

Me, I liek mudkips

Me, I liek mudkips

Jesus lieks the little children

Jesus lieks teh little children

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Even a broken clock is correct twice a day

What is this world coming to? I actually agree with something written in the WorldNutDaily. According to an article over there by Bob Unruh, a professor at Los Angeles City College allegedly called a student a “fascist b——“. I’m assuming the redacted word is “bastard”. The student is now suing the school, represented by the Allliance Defense Fund. Apparently the student, Jonathan Lopez, was giving a speech in Professor John Matteson’s speech class. The assignment was to give a six to eight minute speech on “any topic”.

During the November, 24, 2008 class, Mr. Lopez delivered an informative speech on God and the ways in which Mr. Lopez has seen God act both in his life and in the lives of others through miracles. In the middle of the speech, he addressed the issues of God and morality; thus, he referred to the dictionary definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman and also read a passage from the Bible discussing marriage,” the ADF explained.

At that point, the professor interrupted him and refused to allow him to finish his speech, ADF said. Matteson then called Lopez a ‘fascist b——” and dismissed the class.

Later, the professor left an evaluation form on Lopez’s backpack without a grade, instructing him to “Ask God what your grade is.”


Professor’s grading of student’s speech

The professor also warned on the evaluation form, “proselytizing is inappropriate in public school.”

If the details of this case are correct, this professor is completely out of line and needs to be disciplined. Treating a student with that kind of disrespect, regardless of differences between your beliefs, is unacceptable. I don’t know the specifics about what topics were permitted under the syllabus or if the professor indicated that certain controversial topics were off-limits in class, but even if the student had violated those rules, the professor’s response would still have been inappropriate.

The classroom is not the place for teachers to promote their personal beliefs nor to abuse students for the beliefs they hold. My initial reaction is that the teacher needs to have his sorry butt thrown out. Allegedly, this isn’t the first time the teacher has gone off on a personal tangent in class. In a statement from the lawer for the ADF:

Yet several weeks earlier, Matteson has announced to the class, in connection to the California vote Nov. 4 in support of a constitutional amendment defining marriage as being between one man and one woman only, that, “if you voted yes on Proposition 8, you are a fascist b——.”

However much I personally agree with Matteson, the classroom is not the place for that kind of shit. This teacher needs to be raked over the coals just as much as one who promotes christianity in the class. Why the hell can’t teachers just teach and leave the moral pontification out?

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Blow your mind, one cent at a time


Have you ever tried to visualize the really big numbers that are being thrown around during the financial crisis? Most of us have seen $100. How about $1,000? Now try working with millions and billions. If you’re feeling a bit lost in the abstract, take a look at The MegaPenny Project. Now. Go look at it now. Keep clicking.

Hat tip: Phil Plait over at Bad Astronomy

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I must have missed the memo

The memo that said that in order to homeschool your children you had to be a bible-thumping, dinosaur-riding, right-wingnut. Somehow, in our decision to homeschool, Mrs. CyberLizard and I missed that obvious fact. Apparently a large majority of homeschooling families are doing it out of a desire to save their children from that secular cesspool known as public education. You know, that place where they try to turn your kid gay and force them to become socialists and allow old washed up terrorists to participate on boards who’s whose goals are to improve the quality of edumacation.

Anyone who knows me or Mrs. CL knows that in our homeschooling we are bucking the trend. We’re trying to bring that gay-friendly, secular, skeptical thinking mindset out of our public classrooms and into our home. I’ll be damned if I let some bureaucracy turn my kid into a gay socialist terrorist sympathizer; I’m gonna do that myself.

So we completely missed the memo and are only now being confronted with our nonconformity. It is becoming more difficult to disentangle ourselves from the tentacles of the religious whackaloons grip on homeschooling. Most recently, in a completely secular home education co-op group we belong to, the nutjobs are trying to jump in with their propoganda in support of Amendment 2, the proposed amendment to the Florida constitution to define marriage as a union between one man and one woman. Amazingly, this person thought that it was perfectly acceptable to post their screed on the dangers to our rights as homeschoolers if teh gays were afforded the same rights and responsibilities as the rest of us.

In a twofer on the religion front, Stephen Colbert has on his show Michael Ferris, president of Patrick Henry College. This school is apparently primarily a place for religious homeschoolers to send their kids to college after preventing their children from actually learning anything factual about the nature of the world around them.

All I can say is, we’re not all like that. Some of us not only have brains, but use them and encourage our children to do so as well.

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Boy Suspended For Sporting Rayhawk

Now this is just plain stupid [emphasis mine]:

TAMPA — The Rayhawk, a trend ever since Tampa Bay Rays players starting sporting them, has gotten a 12-year-old boy an in-school suspension.

“I was surprised. It’s just a hairdo, really nothing, just a hairdo,” said Zach Sharples, an honor student at Lincoln Middle in Manatee County.

Sharples said he must stay under in-school suspension until he changes the haircut or grows it out.

Boy, this must be some harido. I mean, it must be dangerous or something to cause them to suspend an honor student. What did administrators have to say?

…a representative for the school district said it is outlined in the dress code — no distracting hairstyles.

This thing must be bright purple with sparklers in it and stand two feet high to be distracting. This is Jr. High after all. So let’s take a look:

OMG!!!!!!111!!11!eleventy-one!1 I can’t concentrate! My synapses are failing! Must…not…look…at…hair…

Seriously? Distracting? WTF?!?

Actually, come to think of it, this is bringing back memories. When I was in elementary school, oh, about 25 years ago, a kid dared to come to school with a mohawk. The uproar was incredible. We couldn’t stop talking about it. For about a day. After that, it was like, meh. Administrators flipped out then too. Forced the kid to wear a hood till it grew out. It’s nice to know we’ve made such advancements in 25 years.

I just thought of something else for administrators to ban at the school: Marines! I mean, how different is that mohawk from a Marine’s “high and tight”?Sad, sad, sad. I can’t believe our armed forces are allowing such distractions. What if there’s a war? Our soldiers might be gawking at hairdos rather than killing the enemy. We need to get these brave school administrators and put them in the Marines to combat this kind of distraction. Our troops deserve the best.

I don’t have to worry about hairstyles. This is what happened to me after reading the article:

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