Fuck you, Google, and the app you rode in on


Edit: So I now have a new “personal” account and things are relatively back to the status quo. But my arguments still remain: the whole thing is totally fucked up. And it’s made worse by their policies on “real names”, so I can’t just set up an account as CyberLizard independent of my identity as my meatspace self. This fucking pisses me off. Expect another rant about that soon.

Hold on to your seats, folks; it’s going to be a ranty ride.

So here’s the deal. I own my own domain, cyberlizard.com. I got tired of dealing with email management and decided to just let GMail deal with it all. No problemo. Now I’ve got mail.cyberlizard.com to do my emailification. At the same time, I also set up things like calendar.cyberlizard.com and docs.cyberlizard.com, aka Google Apps. I had already had my iGoogle and Google Reader set up to use my cyberlizard.com email address as the login. So, pretty cool.

Actually, not so much. Because my iGoogle and Google Reader apparently use something called a Google Account or Google Profile. Which apparently is different from the shit I just set up in Google Apps. Even though it’s got the same login. Ok, fine. So I just go directly to my *.cyberlizard.com urls for some stuff and directly to Google for others. And this works.

Until Google Plus. Google apparently thinks that Google Apps users are second class citizens who don’t deserve these special things called Google Profiles. Which means no Google Plus. But since the same email address is being used for both my “personal” google account and my Google Apps account, I can get in on the “personal” one.

You confused yet? I sure as hell am! Irregardless, all this shit works. I’m on G+, I can see all my RSS feeds on Reader, I can do my emailizations and I make extensive use of my Calendar.

Until today. Google decided to “transition” my “conflicting” accounts. So now I’m totally fucked. If I go to my email and log in, I am apparently logged in to the entire google infrastructure with my apps account. So if I go to Plus, it says, “Fuck you! You can’t get in without a Profile! And Apps accounts don’t get a Profile! So you’re fucked!” Or something like that. I may have paraphrased a bit. The point is, this fucking sucks. And Google’s only solution is to rename my “personal” account?! What about all the stuff I’ve done on G+ already? I don’t want to change my fucking email address! Why is this shit so difficult? I’m not a stupid guy. I work with computers all day long. I run web sites. I program the world’s most powerful computers. But this shit drives me batty!

I want:

  • All my existing *.cyberlizard.com shit to work; mail, calendar, docs
  • All my configuration and content of iGoogle, Reader, G+ to work

How do I get the content from both of these onto one account? Without creating a whole fucking new email address? Make it fucking happen, Google!

p.s. I’m not usually one to rant about this kind of technology struggle. I’m usually the one telling people how to set this shit up. I’m really not some dumb, ignorant user (well, maybe in this case I am). There’s probably a perfectly logical reason why they set things up this way. But I’ll be damned if I can see it. Or untangle the result.

p.p.s Yes, this is whiny and pouty. I just want my internets to work! *wail*


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  1. #1 by xMachineC0r3x on May 23, 2013 - 4:43 pm

    fuck this trash company. POS bastards. fuck every one of their fucking online cheerleaders too

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