Archive for January 12th, 2009

My step-father-in-law (let’s call him Joe) was in the hospital recently; nasty bacterial pneumonia entirely obstructing his left lung, fun stuff. After he had been moved from ICU into a room, he was paid a visit. A friendly nurse came in to have a little chat. Nothing surprising about that. Nurses, doctors, interns had been coming in and out the whole time. This is the hospital, remember. There’s always a vein to be stuck or a temperature to be taken or a nasal cannula to be checked (I just like saying cannula, hee hee).

Anyway, this nurse had a different assignment. Probably the most important task in the whole hospital. He was tasked by the Lord to talk to Joe about his spiritual salvation.

I should probably make it clear at this point that Joe is Jewish. Has been his whole life, on account of his mother being Jewish and all. He’s 65 years old. I’m thinking that over the course of those 65 years, he’s probably heard about this new-fangled thing called Christianity once or twice. Probably heard about it, maybe even thought about it, and decided to stick with what he knew. And it’s been my experience that for Jews, it’s more than just a religion, it’s a cultural identity. I’ve known atheists who still identify as Jewish. Anyway, the point is, he’s heard about this dude named Jesus before. But for some reason, this nurse decided that a 65 year old Jew tethered to an oxygen tank with pneumonia in the hospital was the perfect choice to share the love of Christ with.

Hearing that Joe was a Jew and had his own spiritual beliefs, one might assume that the nurse would politely excuse himself. I mean, that would be polite and respectful of others beliefs. But that assumption would be wrong. After all, we’re talking about a man’s eternal soul! The nurse couldn’t be expected to leave that poor soul wallowing in the body of a Jew, of all things! So he stayed with Joe for around an hour, explaining to him about the love of Jesus and exactly why Joe was wrong for being a Jew and how he would end up in Hell if he didn’t accept the love Jesus.

Knowing Joe the way I do, I’m actually quite surprised that he didn’t just tell the nurse to get the fuck out and shove his Jesus up his ass on the way out. He can be quite animated that way. I can only assume that the illness, the lack of oxygen and the authority over a patient that an individual in scrubs in the hospital has over a patient combined to overwhelm his normally acerbic nature and allow this fool to keep prattling on.

Another interesting aspect to this whole situation is who owns the hospital. According to their website “Florida Hospital … is owned and operated by Adventist Health System, a part of the worldwide organization of the Seventh-day Adventist Church.” Ahhhhh. Now this encounter begins to take on a different tone. I’ve always been aware that Florida Hospital was run by the church. Aside from the occasional picture of Jesus in the hallway, there never was any overt proselytizing going on that I could see. As far as I could tell, they were satisfied to simply provide good medical care to the community (and make some money on the side, too, nothing wrong with that). Apparently one has to be a patient to receive the full treatment. Only if you’re sick in a hospital bed do you get to be shown the light of Christ. Who better than to receive the Good News than those vulnerable souls in a frightening place with a possibly life-threatening illness? It’s not taking advantage of people, it’s saving them, right? Fuck that.

By cornering a patient, wearing the uniform of the hospital, acting as a representative of that medical organization, and giving that patient the full-court press even after they’ve informed you that they aren’t interested, you are saying that you are following the hospital’s policies and that conversion is one of them. It sickens me that an organization would use it’s power over a vulnerable population to shove its own beliefs down their throats.

It’s actually kind of sad that these bible-thumpers are so insecure of their own faith and ideas that they feel the need to prey on the weak and vulnerable to get conversions rather than relying on the truth and accuracy of their own position to convince people. Sad, but still completely unacceptable.