Our intrepid heros, having been denied a raunchy good time by Kirk Cameron and Jesus, decided that they would attempt a mad dash across the battlefield (well, really just a couple of exits up the highway, but I’m trying to create dramatic tension here) to try to make the 10:25pm showing of Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Will they make it? Will the Fireproof conspiracy follow them to another theater? Will the ticket taker be a complete dick and not let them bring in their soda and popcorn? Let’s find out…

The minivan flew down the highway like a, um, like a minivan flying down the highway. At exactly 10:25, Mrs. CyberLizard threw on the parking brake and slid the van into a parking spot with a squeal of tires (dramatic tension, remember?). We dashed inside the mall, popcorn and soda clutched in our hands and breathlessly ordered two tickets for Zack and Miri. The ticket seller was quite appalled to hear what had happened at the previous theater and found it quite amusing when Mrs. CL brandished the popcorn and declared our intent to bring it inside. Actually, the ticket taker didn’t say anything either. So no new confrontation

Once in the actual theater, we discovered that they were playing Fireproof! that we had only missed half of the first preview! Within a few minutes we were finally watching a movie about people making a movie about people fucking, and we were laughing our asses off.

So the evening ended in success after all. And it gave me a chance to do a couple of really cool cliffhanger blog entries. In fact, it was such a good ploy that I’ll do it again.

Tune in tomorrow night to read the CyberLizard’s amazing, fantastic, awesome review of Zack and Miri Make a Porno!

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