Archive for November, 2008
Posted by CyberLizard in Uncategorized on November 27, 2008
It’s the day before Thanksgiving, so naturally thoughts turn towards self-reflection and thankfulness. One particular thing stands out this year. My sister-in-law is currently sitting in a hospital bed, 35 weeks pregnant, about to undergo an amniocentesis to determine if the baby’s lungs are developed enough to be delivered.
I am thankful that we live in a time where science, and particularly medicine, has developed to the point where a potentially life-threatening situation can be averted. I realize there are lots of valid concerns about the rate of c-sections and other interventions in birth; concerns which I share and have been vocal about. But what it really comes down to is that we all want our mothers to give birth to a healty baby in the safest way possible.
I am thankful that we have enlightened midwives, home-birth advocates, lactivists and others championing the cause of the mother and baby. And I am also thankful for a sophisticated and advanced medical establishment that can, in many cases, snatch life from the jaws of death and provide a net to catch those that would otherwise fall.
So to my sister-in-law, who will be sitting in the hospital this Thanksgiving, I give thanks that you are alive and well and for the minor miracles of technology that let you listen to that tiny little heart beating inside the tiny little being inside of you. I’m thankful that I am fortunate enough to be able to visit you this christmas and to meet my little niece.
Our intrepid heros, having been denied a raunchy good time by Kirk Cameron and Jesus, decided that they would attempt a mad dash across the battlefield (well, really just a couple of exits up the highway, but I’m trying to create dramatic tension here) to try to make the 10:25pm showing of Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Will they make it? Will the Fireproof conspiracy follow them to another theater? Will the ticket taker be a complete dick and not let them bring in their soda and popcorn? Let’s find out…
The minivan flew down the highway like a, um, like a minivan flying down the highway. At exactly 10:25, Mrs. CyberLizard threw on the parking brake and slid the van into a parking spot with a squeal of tires (dramatic tension, remember?). We dashed inside the mall, popcorn and soda clutched in our hands and breathlessly ordered two tickets for Zack and Miri. The ticket seller was quite appalled to hear what had happened at the previous theater and found it quite amusing when Mrs. CL brandished the popcorn and declared our intent to bring it inside. Actually, the ticket taker didn’t say anything either. So no new confrontation
Once in the actual theater, we discovered
that they were playing Fireproof! that we had only missed half of the first preview! Within a few minutes we were finally watching a movie about people making a movie about people fucking, and we were laughing our asses off.
So the evening ended in success after all. And it gave me a chance to do a couple of really cool cliffhanger blog entries. In fact, it was such a good ploy that I’ll do it again.
Tune in tomorrow night to read the CyberLizard’s amazing, fantastic, awesome review of Zack and Miri Make a Porno!
‘Gay’ adoption ban ruled unconstitutional
Judge allows homosexuals to become legal parents of boys, 4, 8
Amazingly, I read about this in the WorldNutDaily, which I keep in my RSS reader for the lulz.
A Miami-Dade circuit judge today ruled Florida’s 30-year ban on “gay” adoption unconstitutional, allowing a homosexual man to adopt two foster children who have been in his care since 2004.
Judge Cindy Lederman issued a 53-page order allowing Frank Gill, 47, and his “gay” partner to legally adopt the 4- and 8-year-old boys they’ve been raising, the Miami Herald reported.
”This is the forum where we try to heal children, find permanent families for them so they can get another chance at what every child should know and feel from birth, and go on to lead productive lives,” Judge Lederman told the court. “We pray for them to thrive, but that is a word we rarely hear in dependency court.”
She continued, ”These children are thriving; it is uncontroverted.”
I’m beginning to suspect that they stole this piece from the AP or something. Where’s the sniping? The irrational claims? The Chuck Norris commentary?
Never mind. Regardless where I heard it from, this is fantastic news!
Lederman said children have “fundamental” rights to have permanent adoptive parents if birth parents are no longer in the picture.
”The challenged statute, in precluding otherwise qualified homosexuals from adopting available children, does not promote the interests of children and, in effect, causes harm to the children it is meant to protect,” she wrote. “There is no question the blanket exclusion of gay applicants defeats Florida’s goal of providing [foster] children a permanent family through adoption.”
Lederman said sexual orientation is no indicator of a person’s ability to parent.
“Sexual orientation no more leads to psychiatric disorders, alcohol and substance abuse, relationship instability, a lower life expectancy or sexual disorders than race, gender, socioeconomic class or any other demographic characteristic,” she wrote. ”The most important factor in ensuring a well-adjusted child is the quality of parenting.”
Well, duh! The only sad part of all this is that it took 30 years to get this right.
So Mrs. CyberLizard went out a couple of nights ago with a girlfriend to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno. She came back raving about what a fantastic movie it was and how I had to go see it with her. Apparently it’s a Kevin Smith movie, a fact I had somehow missed. Since I thoroughly enjoy his films, I agreed and we secured a little Lizard sitter last night and snuck out to catch the 9:45 showing at the local mall theater. After grabbing a popcorn and a coke, we get into the actual theater at approximately 9:47, expecting the previews to have started. Instead, the lights are on and the screensaver image is up. After a couple of minutes, I go to find out what was up. I was told that they were finding someone to start the movie. Um, ok… one would have thought that the presence of the required personnel would have been secured prior to the actual start time of the movie, but, whatever.
Fireproof isn’t merely preaching to the already converted; it’s helping to further alienate the unconverted and the skeptical.
People like Kirk Cameron apparently require Scriptural instruction about how to not act like a complete **** to your wife.
The writing and directing Kendrick brothers, Alex and Stephen, have raised blandness and narrative predictability to the level of high art.
And my personal favorite, which is almost identical to what I was thinking during the few minutes I was forced to endure this “movie”:
With the production values of a straight-to-video cheapie and the script of a mediocre soap opera, Fireproof is good for just about one thing: dousing whatever flames might be left in your marriage.
I was having so much fun heckling the piece of crap that I was tempted to just keep watching. Instead, I decided that I wanted to actually get some value for my money and see the movie that I had chosen. So after I and numerous other people complained, the manager shows up and apologizes. It’s too far into the movie, she says, I can’t change it. WTF?!? She then goes on to explain that it is too heavy, she can’t physically switch the movies. I immediately volunteer to assist, but that idea was shot down. Instead, they’re going to give us double free tickets. Oh, and as a bonus, they can move us to a different theater and show us Role Models.
Now, I’m not normally a confrontational person IRL, but I’m pissed off. Outside the theater, the manager is waiting with our comp tickets.
Me: Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a babysitter so that my wife and I can come out to watch a movie?Manager: I’m sorry, sir, I’ve got double comp tickets here for you.Me: What, so I can come back to this place and have you screw it up again?Manager: These tickets are good for any Regal Cinema’s, sir. Here you are. Have a good evening.
lazy busy lately and haven’t entertained y’all for a while. The Carnival of the Godless #105 will help tide you over.
So I’ve gotten off my lazy arse and actually took pictures of some of the LEGO creations I’ve been working on. I’ll start you off with this one. Look for more in the coming week.
For the NoVVember Vic Viper celebration:
If you want just the pics, you can view my Flickr photostream.
Posted by CyberLizard in Uncategorized on November 14, 2008
It still gives me a thrill to see that amazing display of human engineering climbing to space atop a column of flame. I was sitting on the bank of the Indian River on the morning of April 12, 1981 watching the very first shuttle mission, STS-1. I remember where I was when Challenger exploded. And Columbia. We have seen humans standing on the Moon. We were able to watch live as one of our creations actually landed on Mars. There are probes gathering astounding information from the outer reaches of our solar system. There is a space station orbiting our planet. A space station. Think about that for a moment.
As a child I marveled at the night sky, recognizing it for what it was; the vastness of the universe expanding to infinity around us. I fantisized about travelling in space. Science fiction has entrenched the ideas of interstellar travel firmly in our collective psyche. And here we are, extending our trembling fingers into the unknown, reaching for the unknown, trying desperately to know.
There are many things happening in the world, some horrible and some beautiful. Human creativity, imagination and determination gave us the opportunity to actually see the entirety of our planet and it is humbling.
… here’s another piece of dumbfuckery to beat your head against your desk about. Apparently the bus companies in Ontario are feeling a little threatened by people using teh intertubes to arrange carpools.
Online Carpooling Service Fined For Unregulated Transportation
from the how-dare-you-ride-with-someone-else dept
One of the great things about the web, obviously, is that it allows for much more efficient communication that opens up new and useful offerings. For example: the web offers the ability to find other people traveling to the same general place you’re heading and to set up a convenient carpool. It’s good for the environment. It’s good for traffic. It just makes a lot of sense. Unless, of course, you’re a bus company and you’re so afraid that people will use such a system rather than paying to take the bus. That’s what happened up in Ontario, as earlier this year we wrote about a bus company that was trying to shut down PickupPal, an online carpooling service, for being an unregulated transportation company. TechCrunch points us to the news that the Ontario transportation board has sided with the bus company and fined PickupPal. It’s also established a bunch of draconian rules that any user in Ontario must follow if it uses the service — including no crossing of municipal boundaries — meaning the service is only good within any particular city’s limits.
It’s better than being shut down completely, and the service can still operate elsewhere around the world, but this is yet another case where we see regulations, that are supposedly put in place to improve things for consumers, do the exact opposite. Just like we’ve seen elsewhere, you get regulatory capture, where an established industry uses the regulations not for their intended purpose, but to actually drastically limit the competition.
*sigh* Why can’t we all just… aww, screw it.
I hate the fucking United States Postal Service. I know, I said I don’t include “hate” in my personal ideology, but I hate the fucking United States Postal Service.
First off, we’ve got those stupid community mailboxes in my neighborhood. Not an apartment complex, but free standing houses. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I thought the purpose of the Post Office was to deliver my mail to me. Not make me go fetch it. If I wanted to drive somewhere to get my mail, I’d just get a post office box.
Secondly, our entire life is handled online. We don’t receive a single paper bill anymore. Magazines only come once a week. Birthday cards come once a year. Damn near everything else is either trying to get me to buy something or trying to get me to apply for their credit cards (side rant: I thought we were in a credit crunch? Why the hell am I still getting these ridiculous offers? I even get home equity offers! Can’t they read the damn headlines?)
In other words, we don’t get our mail on a daily basis. Sometimes it’s more than a couple of days. Occasionally we’ve gotten a note from the letter carrier saying that our mailbox was full and that we had to go to the post office to pick it up. Fine, whatever. But not this time. We got a note that said we hadn’t picked up our mail so they were returning it to the senders. WTF?!?
So I call the number given for my local post office. After navigating their mindless automated system, I get to speak to an actual human almost immediately. Apparently they’re able to get someone to answer the phone promptly, but they can’t be bothered to actually deliver my mail to my house.
Anyway, the end result is that I’ve got to go physically to the Post Office and see if my mail is still there. They can’t even tell me over the phone if my fucking mail is actually there or not. Security reasons, they tell me. Yeah, ’cause al Queada could call and find out if my coupons and magazines are waiting at the post office for me and could use that information to infiltrate the government network and destroy the world!
So I hate the fucking United States Postal Service. And this image pretty much sums up my day:
Thanks to the Rev. BigDumbChimp for the pic. I’m right there with you, bro.