Archive for October, 2008

Three cheers for the Perky Skeptic! She’s actually been exercising, something I fail miserably at. I started this as a comment on her blog, but in the spirit of not leaving loser-length comments on others blogs, I decided to spew it here.

When I was a young slip of a girl, I was a powerlifter.

I weighed 125 lbs, could bench-press 155 lbs and squat with 240. It was insane how much time I used to spend in the gym! Three hours a day was not unusual for me. This was at age twenty-two.

Damn, she sounds hawt! (not that I’d say that to her, she sounds like she can also kick my ass)

It was great. I was HIGH ON ENDORPHINS and LOVING IT! (I only stopped because I realized, eventually, that working out was taking up every minute of my free time.)

Now I am age 40. I weigh 144 lbs. I am working out on exercise machines instead of freeweights, doing fast, light, swimmers’ workouts instead of pushing my max on everything. I am spending fifteen minutes in the gym and then walking/running a mile on the track.

First of all, I’m astounded that she would post her age and weight online for all the world to see! I thought that women had a gene to block the revealing of that information

I joke to cover the fact that I’m actually envious, ’cause I can’t get my lazy bum up to do anything anymore. I’m 34 and closer to 200lbs than I’d like to admit. Once upon a time I could carry 4 50lb bags of potatoes on my shoulders with no problem. I could wear size 32 jeans. I was a sexy blond with a killer rack. Or maybe that was the just in the dream I had last night. Anyway, the point is that I, too, was once in relatively good shape. And I might still be considered to be in good shape, if you like the shape of round. Unfortunately, the appetite suppressing features of the amphetamines have worn off (they’re legit, I’ve got ADD). Now I’ve just got to rely on good old-fashioned will power. *sigh*

But the Perky Skeptic’s attitude is definitely inspirational:

As you may have gathered, I started my LIFESTYLE CHANGES. Low cholesterol! Lots of exercise! Eat right! Limit those calories!

Well… that SUCKS! I’m hungry all the time, and sore! And, and, and… yeah… really, it’s not so bad. Honestly, I’ll probably be used to this within a couple of weeks to a month, and life will be normal again, only I’ll be in a very healthy routine instead of a mildly lazy, eat-like-my-five-year-old routine. I can do this!!!

I’ve been shocked at how easy it is to buy organic, healthy food for the kids and then turn around and stuff myself with crap. Talk about hypocritical. The boy-child is getting old enough to start calling me on it, too.

And with all her effort and struggles to get into shape, she can still be magnanimous to us losers:

May I just take the opportunity to give a round of applause and my personal STANDING OVATION to anyone reading this who is actively trying to lose weight! I have a relatively fast metabolism and a background of lifetime exercise to fall back on, and STILL my efforts to cut calories drove me INSANE for– well, they still kind of are. I’m eating a lot of oatmeal so I’ll feel full. So those of you, including my close friends and family, who have been doing the hardcore weight loss thing, my hat is OFF to you! It is HARD to change eating habits.

I’m just playin’. I’m hoping this will be motivation to do what I’ve been thinking about doing and actually do something.

Here’s one last piece of advice:

One thing I have discovered– a bag of salad can be munched on like potato chips ALL DAY LONG. This is helpful to me. I can TRICK my body!!! I can EMULATE unhealthy habits, but STILL be eating HEALTHILY!!! I AM SO STEALTHY!!! I’m like a HEALTH NINJA!!!!!!!

She better watch out for the HEALTH PIRATES!